Only one partner required

It was a bit too quiet the other night.

 

I greatly dislike boredom...

One can only put so many hours into creation before the brain gets foggy...and since I did ice cream the night before, it's wasn't going to help my weight if I went again a second night.

 

See, in this I see the bit that cool sculpting might work wonders on....😂😂😂

May is the month I make new habits, but also the month I break some.  Slowing down is a top priority, but with that comes the inevitable crusher of my soul:  boredom.

I.  Am.  So.  Bored.

Yes, my hike yesterday was lovely.  Yes, I put a full day working on Ride.  Yes, I blogged to keep Ride writer's block from cropping up.  I also ate very healthy (no choice when there's nothing here BUT healthy food) and cleaned.

I even made my bed.

😳

It's a shocking new habit-make it first thing.  That way, at the end of the day, if I didn't accomplish even one more thing, I know I can go to bed knowing I did do one thing right.

I'm trying.

I love my little cottage for May.  I love my little office, my 1940's kitchen, and the shower pressure.  I love the green grass out the windows and the birdsong I always hear.  I love the time I have to write and work.

But I'm a wee bored.

I wish I had more to do.  Slowing down is just slow.

 

It only took 24 hours before I changed my mind and want the class A license and be able to jump solo...

The big question as I do my devotions?  God clearly is asking me to slow down, and trust Him.

Every fiber of my being is arguing.

Sure I can slow down hiking.  I actually did Camelback to the first saddle and back with no inhaler, and ran from the trailhead to the car-a distance of a half mile-with no issue yesterday.  I felt amazing, and I'm toying with a run in this neighborhood later this evening (or maybe it should be this morning?)

(Excuse me as I decide to run)

 

Me looking none to pleased at the exercise...

 

I ran by the canal.

Hm.  Starbucks or frozen yogurt at the end?!!  Nice!

It's a good thing I ran this morning as a) it's gonna get hot and b) I have to go to Prescott.  Apparently I have the key and registration to Red Ride down here...yeah.  Oops.  I probably should clarify that my run wasn't entirely a run.  It was also a walk.  I ran until I couldn't breathe and then I walked.  So technically, it was runs.  Lots of little runs.  Good lord, that sounds just terrible!

After my run, I showered and went to the farmers' market.  The Commander called and we'll have lunch after her final exam.  Then I'll head up the hill, take care of Ride up there and have dinner with Russ.  It's been awhile, and we need to catch up.

It's nice to have plans that don't include 14 hour writing sessions...:)

Interestingly, this is the first time I have ever lived alone in my entire life.  I moved from my childhood home into my husband's, when widowed I had the baby Commander (and my BFF Rochelle moved in with my goddaughter Sarah for the first four months.). After the divorce I temporarily was with my parents and the Princess, then back at the house with Manchild.  The time in Mesa was with the Commander, and now I am here in Phoenix.

Very much by myself.

And while occasional bored, I am cognizant that as I make new habits and work to give up old habits, it's really nice not to have anyone observing such efforts.  While running/walking my three miles today, I jealously watched a couple jog by, in perfect sync.  How nice that would be I mused, until I recalled my asthmatic breathing, my need to stop unexpectedly, and my inconsistencies that drive serious exercisers mad.  I'm a handful at any time, I know as I've been told this by too many friends to ever doubt it. Add in exercise?

 Lol-there's a reason you rarely, if ever see Ian in a picture.  He's always 40 paces ahead.

My entire life, I've been dissuaded from doing things by myself.  Safety was almost always the motivating factor; from a very young age my mother made that a top priority.  While I did venture out, many ideas were quashed by "not being safe" instead of realized.  Since my divorce, I find myself doing much by myself, and always enjoying it...even when I formerly whined about needing a partner, wanting a partner, etc.

Flyboy said I needed to live by myself, and I didn't see how I could with the children....but then it worked out.

And I'm here, by myself.

See?  Blogging on the comfy couch in a sundress:)

And while I've gotten used to solitary exercise (and in many ways prefer it) I remind myself that this little jaunt is very temporary, and I need to make the most of it.  

Even the boring bits.

Last night I turned on the tv for the first time in months, and thoroughly enjoyed Victorian Slum House.  I sent my kids the link to watch it; while I can't get them to hike, they do love history like their mother.  As I contemplated making a 1000 matchboxes a day for a piece of bread, I began to relish my boredom.

Goodness.  My life is amazing.

I'm in the best possible place I could be right now, and it's wonderful.  I'm healing from hurts of long ago and the not too distant pass; getting healthy in body, spirit and mind.  My business has done ok to this point; just the wee bit of hard work I've started to pour into it is already paying off (and easing my boredom with a trip to Prescott tonight.)  Today as I ran/walked I picked up a house flyer, and decided I wanted to buy that house.

Let's just say I need to work a bit harder😍😎

I can feel my spirit rising, after a long time hiding.  The haunting memories of days past is fading, and new hope is sprouting in its place. Happiness is not the best word for it; contentment is.  Paul wrote he found out the secret of being content in any situation:  the joy of the Lord was his strength.  Having been sooo deeply dipped in that joy as I skydived on Monday, I see yet another correlation to cherish.  My joy in skydiving came not from within myself, but rather from the Lord.  With that, I had the strength to do something I never wanted to do, and did it with aplomb.

When I started to write this last night, I ruefully thought I should write a list of all the things I wanted in a partner.  It was to be a private blog, a list like I made at 15, and then again widowed at 24.  Maybe I'd make it a want ad, and figure out how to get it to go viral.  I never got around to making the list, as I was joyfully too busy digging up history instead.

I had a bad habit of making snap decisions to try and hold on to things, out of fear of losing them.  Not anymore.  Life right now is untraditional, just like skydiving.  I trusted God in that, and had not only pure joy, but perfect peace.  How much easier is it to trust God now, when death is not potentially on the line?

My quest for fitness is for more than just the body, it's also for the spirit and mind.  How blessed I am to be able to work on all three.