Me and Lucy, my new hiking companion. She is the Buckeye’s surviving pooch.
December was rough at its onset: I had my seventh “final two” interview, and for the seventh time, I didn’t get the job. My entrepreneurial background was once again deemed an unknown variable in reliability; whilst I saw it as my best asset. This time, however, this time I had had enough. It was time I gave up on the practical, and again spread my wings.
Palace Station, deep in the Prescott National Forest. I first visited here when I was 19.
Many years ago, I made wedding dresses. One summer I made three, and made bridesmaids dresses for other weddings. I toyed with starting my own business, settling on the name of Orange Blossom Bridal; after the flower carried by many 19th century brides.
And I still make the occasional wedding dress:) I finished this one around the 20th Anniversary of the Knight’s death, shortly after my divorce was final.
I remember sitting at my sewing machine, pondering different sewing businesses I could start...from preemie clothes to gowns, my heart was always to bless with the final creation. Imagine my surprise when a direct sales jewelry company allowed me to walk into a stranger’s home and say “I’m here to bless you” and I’d set out entertaining people for the night; giving away free jewelry and hopefully making people smile. I was adept at teaching others how to do that, and for the next twelve years did just that.
I won many awards and received accolades for my efforts....
...and indulged in wearing glamorous gowns. Always a huge plus!
Right around when lia sophia closed in December 2014, I suffered a serious concussion. I didn’t take it easy like I was told (I did have a massive concussion-my brain was NOT operating properly) and things got very bad, very quickly.
To this day, I have trouble reading books...I am currently forcing myself to read and complete this one. Never, ever did I think there would be a day I struggled to finish a book.
My life became a chaotic mess...and I turned to exercise to try and make some sense of it.
And once again, I work for eNews😎
Three years of Fitness Quest. Three years of blogging. I go back and easily read between the lines...and see the desperation. The cry for help...only to be ignored. After twelve years of leading others, my brain injury had left me unable to process things the way I used to; I clung to exercise as a hated lifeline. In all honesty, it was my last ditch effort to get the King’s approval. For seventeen years, I had wanted to earn his pride in me. Despite earning millions and winning awards, that pride was withheld...and then the company closed. My doctor told me I needed to exercise to help my brain recover, so I combined it with my job and hoped beyond hope I’d get good enough at it for him to be proud of me.
Three years ago, right now. Yes, I see one hip is higher. I also see the pain etched on my face.
At the Cardinals game in December; my Christmas present from the Buckeye. When I post photos of us on Facebook I commonly hear “you look so happy!”
Today, I am so very thankful for so many things. Looking back over the past three years, over the pain and heartache, I see so many things to be thankful for. While my Christian faith has sustained me, it’s the people God has placed in it who have blessed me.
For a remarkably mature Princess; who has the same entrepreneurial heart as her mother.
For Manchild, who shares with me a love of history and a gentle heart.
For my Mother and for the Commander, who share the same strong will...a trait I sometimes share.😜
For my niece and nephew who I miss like crazy and delight having fun with...
For my sister and a shared appreciation of the finer things!
For Cara, whose listening ear has always been there for long drives up the hill.
For the Knight’s mother, whose unconditional love reminded me of my worth exactly the moment I needed it most.
For Flyboy. Our friendship kept me sane when all the world around me imploded.
For my Daddy, my biggest cheerleader who never doubts I’ll achieve what I set out to do.
For the Buckeye. For four months this man taught me patience & appreciating “right now.” The last eight months he has loved me, comforted me and joyously played with me-our adventures are just starting! How easy it is to be with a man who is my match.
That blog I wrote in December...it wasn’t a complaint...it was wishful thinking. Wishful thinking that changes nothing. Only actions change things.
In 2017, my sole resolution was to be patient (funny how the guy I started texting on 12/30/16 would excel in that.) The house sale falling through has tested that-I want nothing more than to finally be freed from the last vestiges of my marriage to the King. This year it’s more than being patient...it’s being proactive. I’m going on the offense in 2018.
Being thankful for what I have helps me be patient while waiting for what I don’t have. Being proactive and reaching for more?
It’s what I’ve always done before when I was successful in the past.
Today I should receive the settlement email...
It’s time to build again. On a foundation of thankfulness, with people I want to bless. Only this time? The company is mine. As I figure out how this puzzle goes together, I am motivated more than ever to succeed.
Not to impress someone.
Not to make money (although that is necessary!)
Not to earn someone’s pride or affections.
I simply want to be a blessing again.
And that is plenty of motivation for me.
2018:)
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