His goal in life? “To be fun Uncle Buckeye.”
Ohhhhhh people thought we were nuts that day at Wal-Mart...😂😂😂
On our second date so long ago, when he told me exactly what he was thinking, he told me Special Olympics was his children. That he didn’t have any of his own, and they were his kids.
Winning the gold medal in this year’s State Championship in Football:)
They are his kids; to a certain extent. He loves them, he won’t give up on them and he has a blast with them. He also doesn’t live with them. He also told me that he’d love to be Fun Uncle Buckeye with my kids. After we got engaged, he even told them he wouldn’t parent them. Premarital counseling did tell us that wasn’t the case, and a stepparent relationship would need be established at some point. As my kids are 16, 17 and 22, however, we weren’t really too worried. When he saw them, their relationships grew...and they had fun. Lots of fun. And then?
The Commander (who so helpfully pointed out that why I may be in love, I did not need to wear a Browns hat while hiking!) and I hiking a few days ago.
Then the Commander broke up with her boyfriend of three years a short bit ago, and the Buckeye invited her to live with him for as long as she needed. She has one semester of college left, and was inbetween jobs at the moment things went to hell. From the first, I made sure they both knew the relationship would be between them; I refused to be a go-between.
She has proven to be a wonderful hiking partner, however. We’ve done Piestewa twice in the last month.
Things have gone well between them; then it happened. Five weeks in, the Buckeye realized he could no longer be Fun Uncle Buckeye...and he came to me with concerns. I listened, but wasn’t overly worried. Let’s just say that the Commander was an extremely difficult child to raise...
She’s three, and totally in charge.
...so I’m utterly delighted she’s turned out so well. I spoke to her about the issues, and assured the Buckeye he simply needed to communicate with her. He insisted I parent. I insisted he parent.
Because suddenly, he was becoming one.
Manchild, the Princess, the Buckeye & the Commander.
In the end, the two sat down and talked. She received what he was saying in love, and he realized she was an adult making good decisions. I remind him he’s earning the right to be called Grandpa Buckeye to my children’s someday children; he reminds me that the last time he was a stepdad, he wasn’t allowed to parent.
As I look back on the mistakes I’ve made in the past; I try my best not to repeat them. Too often I played peacemaker; stepping between a child and an adult in hopes of soothing the relationship. I’m determined not to do that this time; by talking to each of them separately and then letting them figure it out together. As my world spins faster and faster with the impending move (our final inspection was just cleared, and I can finally pack) I want to chose the right paths.
It’s sooooo hard when both your daughters, your ex and your fiancé are all incredibly strong-willed type A personalities.
Here’s another picture of them. The third lioness would be my mother....
What’s making it all work is the Buckeye’s desire to listen and be better...not just have his way. As we are both stressed, waiting for the other show to drop and the house sale either to push through or fall out, I’m learning this man I am to marry is willing to communicate, and if he’s wrong, change.
And that above all else, means the world to me.
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