Monday, September 7, 2015

Hiking with a Broken Toe

Yeah, you read that right.

I broke my toe.

Except, really, it wasn't my fault!  Three different people stepped on my toe Saturday night.  THREE.

I did have sandals on.  But seriously!

Three!?!

Louella, Amber, Jess & I.  Sara should've been in this...maybe she is but I just can't find her?

So apparently I should avoid the Row for awhile since I've broken bones there twice.

Really.

I woke up Sunday thinking the tips of three of my toes had been cut off, turns out it's just the tip of my left big toe.  Nail is partly gone, it's fairly colorful.  Ibuprofen and a trim cut the pressure and pain, and I can walk without issue.

Hiking, however...

This was yesterday's hike.

At night, obviously.

I have this idea that we (the museum I work for) can lead tours on Halloween on the Constellation trails that share our parking lot.  So, Chris and I decided to test the feasibility. 

Oh, it's flipping creepy!

Can you see the Jolly Roger?  Pirates in Prescott!

I swear this looked like skeletal fingers...

Haha!  I'm the light at the end of the tunnel!

Yes, it was a ton of fun.  My toe only tweaked a few times, most noticeably when we walked through sand.  So I figured a family hike this morning would be fine, right?

Let's just say these two teenagers weren't as enthused as I was.

Sharing is still something they are working on.

Their dad thought it pretty funny.

Me?  Well, I was inverted...

Really I was.  It was a pretty cool move, man.

Let's just say the steepness of Thumb Butte was challenging... for my toe.

So hiking with a broken toe.  Constellation good, Thumb Butte bad.

Except.

No air monster.

Check this:  I didn't have to stop on the way up, and chatted the entire way.

My lungs were ok.  Much to my delighted surprise, I handled the hike with ease -breathing wise.

After only hiking once a week for two months (and easy hikes at that!) A lasting effect of my Fitness Quest:  fit lungs.

Broken hand, broken toe?  So what.

The Air Monster has been defeated!

  
Joy.  I could breathe at the top! 

To celebrate?  I'm gonna flame dip my hair on Thursday.

Because I already steampunked my iPhone.


Saturday, September 5, 2015

Lessons in Time Travel (and another break)

Time travel reveals interesting stumbling blocks...and mine has been a true revelation.

Three times now I have confronted it; three times now I have turned and walked away from it.  The peace I have gained is immeasurable; each time I am amazed at this difference it has made, this walking away.

Blame Pride and Prejudice, for as Lizzy shares with Jane, "I cannot bear to think that he is alive in the world... and thinking ill of me," I have oft thought that...but of everyone. 

If only I had a Mr. Darcy potentially thinking ill of me...

Being the last one picked at school yard pickem's might be to blame for my desire to be thought of well; I think there's a normal sense of desire to fit in and be thought well of.  As a creative individual, my ideas and motives often come into question; yet my sole desire in life is to have fun, and bring that to others.  To have anyone think other than that became an anathema at some point in my life, and consequensely a major stumbling block.

Jess's birthday dinner last night-such a welcome evening of fun!

The thing I am learning is that so long as I know my motives are/were pure, there's no need to defend myself.  People are too busy to dwell on my actions; my tendency to rehash to "prove my point" only served as a source of distrust.

Ah, my favorite captain knows me well.

In other news, I am fairly certain I am ambidextrous, and should have gone left in sports.

I've been writing exclusively with my left hand for three weeks now, and it actually looks pretty good.  

This was written in bed while I was blogging (in other words, it can look even better when I sit at a desk.)

I've always been right handed but left eye dominant.  This may be why I'm extraordinarily clumsy, and terrible at all sports except walking/hiking/running.

I desperately miss using my poles and being able to hike trails like 261.

Interestingly, all three of my children are ambidextrous.  70% of people are true righty's, 20% ambidextrous and only 10% true lefty's.  My elder daughter now does everything right-handed.  My son?  Writes and eats left, all sports right.  My youngest daughter, everything left.  


I had already discovered I shot very well left (far better than I ever did right), so the handwriting improving by leaps and bounds is interesting.  I was last in all those school yard pickem's because I was horrible at sports.  Maybe this was because I tried them right, when I should have tried them left?

The original steampunker, inspired by HG Wells.

My time machine cannot change the past, but it has shown me a new way to look at my future.  My breaks (yes, breaks.  I broke my left big toe yesterday) have taught me patience, empathy, differences, adaptions, resignation, joy and pride.  Fitness of the mind and soul must be my quest for now, as the physical body heals.

May it please be so.












Thursday, September 3, 2015

The Differences

Last week, I truly became depressed.  The hand, the heart...it was so much that it blinded all the good.

Like orange clouds at sunset.

Making my "sweet things" list on Sunday literally pulled me out of the pit I had fallen into; every time I reread the list, it shoveled dirt into the pit.

I have no plans of ever returning to it.

That being said, I'm still unhappy.  My circumstances have not changed, my heart is still hurt.  I woke up with a hurting hand and nausea this morning, I worry that somehow in the night I rebroke my hand.

I was rocking some Princess Leia style buns in the back:)

Oh, I'm trying. I will conqueror this.  I'm analyzing the data and working on my next move.


I need to find where I belong.

Haven't had a tribe in awhile.

Apparently, a dear friend faced some similar tough situations.

Kirk.  He died Sunday night.

We met in middle school.

Sigh.  I'm the circled one.

A mutual love of Star Trek cemented our friendship; we'd quote Star Trek III to each other.

I hear this in a Scottish brogue...

...what have I done??

My favorite line (not that it applied to me!)

Kirk was a fan of my Fitness Quest, and he shared with me that it got him hiking after a prolonged illness last year.  We had said we should hike together when I was in Michigan...and now he's gone.

Dead.  Days before his birthday.

I wept for hours at the news-more for his family and close friends than for myself-as they asked the questions I had asked seven years ago when my sister Jenny died.

For me:
Depression felt hopeless.
   Unhappiness is temporary.
Depression consumed my thoughts to be only about myself.
   Unhappiness remembers others.
Depression is lonely.
   Unhappiness just confuses me-there are so many options!

Thank God 198,888 came up...

Unhappiness I can figure out...really I can.  I might need to get in some surfing to turn it around.


Fifteen years ago tonight, I gave birth to my son.

Happy birthday, Lad!

He's 6'3".  Quite a difference between 22" long!!

Differences.

What kind of difference can I make?  How can I rip the "un" off of happiness?  I endeavor to find out.  I just wish, when I do, I could have shared it with Kirk.  

Rest in peace, Kirk.





Monday, August 31, 2015

The Sweet Things

I just read a blog about a "nectar list"-of things a person had done that made life sweet. I figured a review of the good would be therapeutic....

1.  Neil Armstrong was a touring docent the day we visited the Smithsonian's Uger-Hazy museum.

2.  Any day at Cedar Point in my childhood was a lifetime thrill.

3.  I've ridden in two B-17's, the Nine-O-Nine and the Yankee Lady.

Next on my list:  Mesa's Sentimental Journey

4.  I've swam with wild dolphins (surrounded by them) in Hawaii.

5.  I've toured the Arizona Memorial with a bunch of sentimental Americans who all cried.

6.  And I cried the first time I visited Cemetary Ridge at Gettysburg.

7.  I loved quoting Jimmy Stewart leaving Union Station by pointing to the Capitol and saying,  "Look!  Look!  It's the Capitol dome!"

8.  I've searched for sharks teeth on Caspiran Beach in Florida.

Twice!

9.  I've sang worship songs standing on the uppermost deck of a cruise ship, the wind and sea whipping around me.

10.  I've slipped the surly bonds of earth, and danced the skies on laughter silvered wings...only as a passenger, but still.

11.  I've clung to door handles while traveling crazy roads to beautiful places in Arizona.

12.  I've hiked the Inner Gorge of the Grand Canyon.

13.  I've explored an empty plantation in the Turks and Caicos.

14.  I've stood on the border of Scotland and knew in my heart my people were from the lowlands (years later this was confirmed.)

15.  I ate French fries on the Eiffel Tower.

16.  I was (and probably still am) afraid of the mummy at the Toledo Museum of Art.

17.  I prayed for my knight in shining armor in a 12th century Norman church in England.

St. Nicholas church, Husthwaite

18.  I've climbed to the top of York Minister with a toddler on my back.

19.  I adore conch salad because I trusted a cabbie in the Bahamas.

20.  I've had a wild stingray placed on my back.

21.  I've had a monkey named Jano sit on my head.

22.  I've seen two presidents, Gerald Ford and George W Bush in person.

23.  I was struck speechless when I met Sean Hannity and didn't wash my hand the rest of the day!

24.  I hung out with Jordin Sparks for an hour.

25.  More impressively, I flew with Chris and Martin Kratt.

Martin walked me to my next gate.

26.  I've drank a $400 bottle of wine (and yes, it was worth it!)

26.  My heart beats faster when I'm around any kind of plane, especially if they can go supersonic.

27.  I love to dance, but really wish I hadn't broken my hand while doing so.

28.  I love living with art in my home.

29.  Look of Long Years by Howard Terpning speaks to my very soul.

30.  Howard Chandler Christie's full length portrait of his wife, Nancy Palmer Christy, as featured in Architectual Digest captured my 12 year old imagination.  I knew then I would own art like that someday.

Not this one (I've not been able to find it) but same subject, and very similar.

31.  I've seen Hail Mary's thrown and caught for the win at Michigan Stadium.

32.  I rooted for 50-1 long shot Giacamo, and he won the Derby.

33.  I've eaten picadillo in Key West.

34.  I know where the best pasty's are in the UP.

35.  I've eaten fresh raspberries by the handful right off the vine.

36.  I've stalked the Amish with a friend because she's an Amish-wannabe.

37.  I've held and read the letter my great-grandmother wrote my great-grandfather in 1912.

38.  I've buried my face in lilacs.

These are from Ered this past spring.

39.  I've smoked a hooka...and liked it.

40. I can make Lebkuchen like my Grama.

41.  I've had many teas at the British Tea Garden with dearest friends.

42.  I've flown over the Grand Canyon in a helicopter.

43.  I've sailed in a tall ship in Newport News...and was terribly sea sick.

44.  I've walked over the Tower Bridge in London, then visited the Crown Jewels.

Not the Crown Jewels, but this recently caught my eye...!

45.  I've stood outside the Louvre and Balmoral, unable to visit either as they were closed.

46.  So instead I've enjoyed the Museum d'Orsay....sigh!  Monet!

47.  I've felt like the Princess of Wales, being handed 60+ floral bouquets.

48.  I've created events specifically to wear ball gowns and tiara's to...

49.  ...and I've worn dresses inspired by the American flag with pride.

50.  I learned to two-step in Texas (which is apparently different from the AZ two-step, or just simply the fact that while I love to dance, I don't dance well.)

51.  I've done touch and go's in a single engine plane with my dad.

52.  I watched Top Gun in the theater with my 14 year old son, who then decided to become a navy pilot.

"Because I, sorry Goose, we; WE were inverted!"

53.  I had lunch with the governor of Arizona and the CEO of the Diamondbacks.

54.  I tailgated with the governor of Michigan before he was governor.

55.  Come to think of it, I've met four or five governors.  Most memorably, I had a fly fly into my mouth while speaking to Gov. Engler and his wife, which I reflexively spat out in front of them.

56.  I climbed a rock wall using only one hand.

Still amazed it was possible.

57.  I rowed for 5000+ meters with no hands.

58.  I've been featured in interviews for the AP, New York Times, NPR, CBS, ABC and NBC.

59.  I will always stop and sigh when I hear The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald, Just the Way You Are, Georgia or anything by Otis Redding.


60.  I won "Debater of the Year" in high school; not to be confused with the honor of being voted "Most likely to come from another time, planet or dimension" by my fellow seniors the following year...

61.  I travelled Great Britain for two weeks.

62.  I drove cross-country with my nine year old (and she threw up on the state of Ohio.  Significant as a Michigan fan.)

63.  I have two mother in laws and adore both of them.

64.  I own a personal library.

65.  I've spent hundreds of hours in the storage room basements of museums.

66.  I've been the recipient of true Southern Hospitality.

67.  I read Gone With the Wind by the pool at a hotel on Peachtree Street in downtown Atlanta.

I completely agree.

68.  I walked a confederate graveyard with a descendant of one of the dead.

69.  I've stopped at war memorials and quietly read each name out loud.  For a moment, they are remembered.

70.  Breastfed three babies for a total of five years and thoroughly enjoyed it.

71.  I've rescued two dogs from shelters.

72.  Sigh...tantric.  Enough said.

73.  Any meal involving deep salt water fish is worth recalling and savoring...Ono!

74.  I dated Jimmy Hoffa's grandson.

75.  I've lived in no fewer than four "House of Dreams."  

View from the patio.

76.  There have been times my voice was trained to sing-and I sang.

77.  I love public speaking...but the greatest honor I had was eulogizing my father in law, who called me sweetheart.

78.  My nana took me thrifting, and taught me how to negotiate a good deal.

79.  I'm a published writer...and now I'm writing a book (or two.)

80.  I hiked the Grand Canyon solo on the one year anniversary of my first husband's death.

81.  I visited Mt. Rushmore at 7am, and had the place to myself.

82.  I know the power of a pair of high heels.

83.  I've been mountain biking and thought I was being chased by something, likely because while hiking earlier I saw a mountain lion.

84.  Sat near an airport and watched planes take off and land...usually by my self, occasionally with others.  Strangely, this is my favorite thing to do in Vegas.

85.  I've been steampunked.  And liked it.  A lot.

22" waist :-)

86.  I've had pen pals I've never met (and one that I have) that have enriched my life.

87.  I've lived the IDIC Vulcan philosophy, as well as Kirk's motto, "I don't believe in the no win scenario."

88.  Best of all, I was born on 8/8, in 1971 (9-1 is 8, 7+1 is 8) and have a sister 8 years, 8 days, 8 hrs and 48 minutes younger than me.  This lifelong obsession with 8 has brought me joy in dark days, and why I stop at 88 sweet things.

Seeing as 23 of these 88 have happened in the past year, I'm feeling quite a bit better.  Counting your blessings is more than just your family and friends, your circumstances.  It's the memories of the life you've lead...excuse me.  I think I need to go rethink a time machine!!!

Eeeee!!!!!!!! :):):):):)


Sunday, August 30, 2015

Lemons

My work week is finally over.

I did brooches all week...and then today I steampunked it with a radiator cap...and forgot to take a picture.

So I'm exhausted. 

With no real exercise.

Me!

Instead, it's this:

Fat jeans got pulled out today.

My hand is *hopefully* healing since I'm doing nothing (well...except with my phone...) but at this point I'm pretty disappointed.

Affection, attention, accountability.

Affection can only come from The King.


Attention could come from any friendship.


Accountability is expected in all relationships-especially business.

I knew these plums would be outstanding because of Skow's business reputation.

Then you go and break a hand, and a heart three times each...and suddenly life is just so hard.

You crave affection so you'll stop the heartache.

You crave attention to get your mind off the constant physical pain.

You crave accountability so you'll have something to count on.

Only to be and receive disappointments...so as the ever optimist you try to count your blessings.

A card from a friend you put by your bed.

Stopping for purple flowers (Grand Hotel Instagram).

Laughing with Aunt Boo.

And in the morning, you think of the conversation the night before and try not to weep, hoping for the joy that is promised for the morning.

But it is silent, and you are alone.

When all you want is affection, attention and accountability.

It's too much to ask?

So I'll go at it alone for today.  I've been assured I need none of these things I so crave and desire.

Maybe I'll try exercise.

The mere thought terrifies me.

I cannot break my hand again-it must heal this time.

This time.

This time I don't ever want to repeat.

I've got the lemons...which ocean shall I head to?