Me and the Buckeye. Yes, I'm pleasantly surprised.
In May I knew I was falling in love, as our relationship moved from friendship to something more as we poured over genealogies and history together. I worried way too much, as my last two indulgements in such a feeling were fleeting. Both times the sentiment was not returned; both times my heart hurt. This time I was a bit more on guard as our relationship had been quite different from the beginning; he had established rules early on that I called his gauntlet.
Excuse me while I go look that up.
I soooooo love the dictionary he gave me!!
So!!! Gauntlet is actually a glove?! So love that Buckeye of mine for giving me a dictionary-I shall be exploring the historical origins of this most of the day...:)
His gauntlet? Respecting his volunteer work, no pressure and understanding his recent past. At the time (this was on our second date) I told him I had no problem with any of them (it's nice to know how someone is thinking for a change.) I did, however, tell him then I wasn't like other women.
Pretty certain I had already sent him this photo...
Yesterday we decided to reread through all of our texts to each other; determined to see when I had made a particular statement. It was highly entertaining as we each revealed what we'd really been thinking; we laughed as we quickly scrolled through our history. Then came the period of time I started to wonder if I needed to move on; while the friendship was firmly in place, I simply didn't think he was interested in more. I had agreed to no pressure months before, so I felt asking where things were going was inappropriate. It was frustrating; as was so much in my life at that moment. While initially I decided to take a month-long venture (I had the luxury of time), my prayers often led me to stay in Phoenix.
Sweet Life Cottage, Arcadia (in Phoenix!)
So I decided to jump out of a plane, literally and figuratively. Not only did I give up on my dream road trip (it's a bucket list item and it included several other bucket list items) to move to Phoenix, but I also went skydiving and decided to give the Buckeye another chance.
Well, it didn't hurt to try....😍
The difference?
I also decided to give him a gift.
Of a four-times married ever-so-great grandmother named Phoebe...
Of two great-great-uncles and a great-great-great-grandfather who fought at Gettysburg...
And a five-times great grandfather who was a captain in America's Revolutionary War.
When I started working on his genealogy, I knew we'd find treasures. His delight in them? Unexpected. To have his carefully crafted walls come down because of them? Divine.
In May as things changed I found myself wishing for a defining moment I knew I was in love. With the Knight and the King I can pinpoint the moment I knew it happened; events that tipped me into that happy abyss. This time was different...so much heartache had left my heart worried. I knew I loved him before I fell in love, and we shared our "I love you's" before that parachute opened. For my doubts and worries lingered when we were apart, looking back now I can clearly see while I loved him...I hadn't yet fallen.
Until now.
He gave me Maize & Blue flowers....don't they look lovely in front of his Buckeye memorabilia?
This week he came over for dinner, and the eight year old grandson of my landlords' decided to stroll in to my cottage unannounced. Somewhere amongst our shared laughter and giggles I fell, completely and unreservedly, in love.
How do I know?
I've not had a worry or doubt since that moment.
Last night as we scrolled back through our old texts, he was surprised to read his own responses...having forgotten in our new found love how he had guarded his heart just a couple of months prior. Sitting down earlier that day to journal, I too, had been surprised; the many worries and doubts of just days and weeks before now seemed silly and obsolete as we now so completely had intwined our hearts.
Truly falling in love, and having it returned so fully and completely at midlife is not the same as it was before. Neither of us are naive; thankfully both of us are now mature. We've talked freely and openly about our pasts, breaking the rules by sharing what we know went wrong in prior relationships. We want to learn from the mistakes of history, and work to not repeat it.
It's been an unconventional relationship in many ways; while he was careful and I was frustrated, in the end it was our mutual faith in God that brought us to this point. Now we look back and see the carefully orchestrated steps; how what we perceived to be setbacks were stepping stones in trust, patience and friendship. That the foundation we crafted before we fell in love is strong, because it was built using God's blueprint and not our own.
We plan on being two very, very adventuresome old people😎
Back on that day he threw down the gauntlet, the stray thought passed through my mind that I wondered how quickly "this one" would fade from my life. We were saying goodbye at his Jeep, and the conversation was not lighthearted. I didn't anticipate this lasting long, and that was fine by me; I had several other guys on deck that I could put into play. The second I thought it, however? My next thought:
But what if this is your future?
Nope, it wasn't love at first sight.
The Fiesta Bowl on New Year's Day 2016 and I'm actually a blip in this picture; I say we bumped into each other that day. We'd technically "met" online a few weeks later, and just as quickly dropped each other. Afterall, he is a Buckeye...
And it wasn't love a year later, either.
Our first date, at Supercross. This may be the ONLY first date selfie I've ever taken.
While we definitely did like each other three months later when I took our second selfie...
...to be honest, it was the fact he relaxed after the second glass of wine that it made me sit up and listen when I heard this song for the first time on the radio later that night:
Yes, things changed in early May:
The first time he held me in his arms? On the log ride at Castles N Coasters.
Clearly, we came to love each other over the past six weeks; it was easy to do with such a strong foundation in trust, honesty and friendship.
We also became my screensaver...
But it wasn't until this week, as we laughed and laughed about an eight years old's impromptu visit that I can truly say we both fell completely in love.
We both know these days are fleeting; these early days of being so besotted we don't want to spend a minute apart. As we dream of future adventures and enjoy the here and now, I am rejoicing in the faithfulness of our God, who guided our separate steps.
To be in love?
This:)I'm one very lucky blogging, outlier, hiking Trekkie Disney princess wannabe to his lucky Ohio hillbilly❤️
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