"I love you more," he responds.
"I've loved you longer," I retort.
Ice skating in the desert on a summer afternoon...
We are ridiculously in love.
Proof.
Last week in my doubt, I struggled. Recognizing my doubt was a game changer; I went into the weekend recharged...but that night questions arose, and heated discussions were had. The next morning, those issues laid to rest, we grabbed the Buckeye's foster mentee The Adventurer for some ice skating.
And the laughter ensued, and more trust was established.
He's a fantastic skater. Me? My family banned me from it ten years ago after a bad concussion I received on the ice....😳
Not only did The Adventurer love ice skating, he asked to have his "see you later party" at the rink. He and his sister are being adopted by their older brother, and moving to Wisconsin. While this is the best case scenario for them, we will miss them terribly.
And worry a bit, too.
Will they be ok? Is this the best? He's 12; will his brother be a dad figure he will respect? She's 9; will she have enough love not to throw herself at the first boy who comes along? Will they have enough; will they grow up to be good citizens? We can't know their future, and our impact on them we may never know.
Last night the Adventurer texted me, tattling that his sister had ripped the book I had given him. I fell asleep feeling my heart pulled; knowing he saw me as a mother figure in his life. "You're the only one who can keep up with me," he'd said, and it wasn't in reference to how fast I was on the ice. I give him boundaries and rules; he tests and I push back. He told me he loved me, too, when we said goodbye; it's my hope we will have more time with him in the future.
My birthday with the Buckeye.
Last week was my birthday, and my only request was a picnic with him. He obliged and so many wonderful memories were made; despite the fact the day started with a hefty speeding ticket for me (it was a trap!) and a long, long detour around a blocked interstate for him. We had our first round of golf together; delighting in knowing it was the first of many to come. Our Michigan/Ohio State rivalry was on full display; with his gift of a Michigan golf visor for me.
We even were photobombed by Brutus...!
More memories; the greatest gift he can give me.
I'm a sentimental girl; yet gifts rarely hold sentimental value. Mementos from the past, however? They do. Our score card was carefully tucked away; as was his now worn-out golfing glove. As I pack my home in Prescott, it's the discovery of receipts and business cards that instantly evoke memories; rarely does a gift capture my heart as much as a memory does. To find a man who thinks very much as I do, and who has sought experiences rather than things? Another reason to think I have found my match, and it has me pondering scripture (of all things!) of being "unequally yoked." While I've only heard it preached as "make sure your business partner or spouse is also a Christian" I'm seeing in it now a much more powerful message: of being like-minded or matched.
My favorite author (to this day) is Laura Ingalls Wilder. Throughout her books, whether it be a team of horse or oxen, she often refers to "a perfectly matched team" - Bright & Star were being trained to be such an oxen team by the young Almanzo, Pet & Patty were the hard-working Indian ponies who brought the Ingalls family west, Sam & David worked the Minnesota soil with Pa and Prince & Lady had a hand in Laura falling in love with their owner. In my own life, I think of our pet partnerships: Bowie & Guip, Cuda & Harbaugh, and the Buckeye's Mack & Lucy. These "perfect pairs" compliment each other; the working horse/oxen combinations do more than that. Not only are they a strong team, but they help others by being that. They are the engine for producing more; even in biblical times that was true. As I ponder this deepening relationship, and see how equally we are matched, I cannot help but think that the message from the pulpit has been too simplistic all these years. Unequally yoked is more than just sharing faith; its sharing beliefs, interests and attitudes. It's complimenting and competing in the best possible ways.
You can have a good relationship and be unequally yoked, and you can have a terrible relationship while being equally yoked. What about an equally yoked relationship where you work together to produce a satisfying result? Is it fair to say you can have a Christian partner and be far from equally yoked when there isn't that desire to work together?
In my musings, the Buckeye bestowed another gift: an inexpensive ring, to remind me when I'm in Prescott that I'm loved.
I was speechless-he nailed my style on the first try.
As the Adventurer and his little sister leave this week to start a new life; we hope and pray the memories we made with them stay with them. We have no guarantee we will ever have contact with them again; that's up to their big brother, who at a young age is taking on a challenge. Perhaps that's why we tried a little harder, and did a little more so that they'd know they were loved. As the Buckeye and I grow closer, it's a lesson we can apply to us.
To never stop acting as we do right now.
To keep making memories to last a lifetime.
To keep showing each other how much they are loved.
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