No longer funny

This is getting ridiculous.

 

Me, after passing out five times and have four attacks of muscle spasms after hitting my head and suffering a mild concussion.

 

The punishment.

I have never felt so utterly alone.

So, I hit my head.  How?  Climbing up on a park bench so carefully focused on not falling I walloped my head on a limb.

Not a branch-a limb.  Dang thing didn't even budge.

My vision doubled, and the nausea started at once.  As I stumbled over to my coworkers, I tried not to panic.

I was terrified.

Three concussions in less than five months.

The decision was made to take me over to urgent care, and my coworker Carlos steadied me with his arm.  He reassured me I was fine, and made sure everything was taken care of inside before he walked me in.  I dashed off a quick text to my business partner, Kyle, who called immediately to reassure me I'd be fine.

But I wasn't.

I felt woozy, and the dry heaves were increasing.  I kept my eyes shut, hoping to stop the spinning room.  

They say I passed out five times.  Three times in the clinic, and twice in the ambulance.  In addition, I would violently shake....and my habit of  deep breathing to stop my frequent night shakes kicked in.  In the ambulance they had Native Air on standby as both local ER's were full, and my vitals were all over the place.  The medic started two IV's, ready to shock my system into recovery if need be.

 

I vaguely recall thinking it would be cool to ride in a helicopter.

I definitely recall being terrified for my two youngest, in school and unaware.  I had no one that could go to them.

I also had no one to come to me.

As I sat on the gurney in the brightly lit ER, the empty rocking chair in the room sat starkly empty in the corner.  As my brain reset itself and I began feeling better, I pondered my situation.

I was tired.

I was alone.

But I wasn't lonely.

Bored, yes.

Lonely, no.

I am fully capable of doing this alone.

It just would be nice if I didn't have to.