So I broke the fast food rule because I was hungry, I don't want to wait until Prescott and I'm trying to be proactive.
Really.
There is a method to my madness.
That was not a good day, but it wasn't a bad day as the good that did happen outweighed the bad.
Am I confusing you yet?
I had woke up before 6, as I often do. I did my HIIT training and grabbed my coffee, thinking how awesome it would be to get in a run early. I left shortly after 7am, thinking nothing of the 25 minute drive to Dreamy Draw.
Except it was 50.
Rush Hour. The nemesis of all workers in major cities, and I had fallen as its prey. So that hit I took off the inhaler when I left? My guess is it was not effective when I got there. So the first asthma attack wasn't too much of a surprise. The second two-tenths of a mile later?
I threw rocks.
Hard.
I might have yelled while doing so.....😳
No one was around. I sat on the side of the trail (in a bunch of prickers. Took me two minutes to pluck them all off when I stood up) and banged out a Facebook post on quitting. According to my own rules, I had to quit after a second asthma attack.
I didn't.
I was a half mile in, and I couldn't bear the thought of turning around. Instead I figured I'd head back by following the trail. At the crossroads of 200 I turned left and up instead of right and back to the car. I was too mad...I so desperately needed a workout.
As I sat to catch my breath once again, I decided to keep going. I had the inhaler with me. I had had terrible night shakes two nights in a row, a sure sign of undealt with physical stress. I had to exercise, hard.
So I tried running again.
And I had my third asthma attack.
Full blown.
As I cried in frustration, I spun around looking for a place to sit on the rocky terrain.
And saw this:

And immediately thought this:
"I will lift up my eyes to the hills—From whence shall my help come? My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth." (Ps 121:1-2)
My panic dissolved as I turned my cry to the Lord, and my spirit counseled my soul.
"But those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] shall change and renew their strength and power; they shall lift their wings and mount up [close to God] as eagles [mount up to the sun]; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint or become tired." (Is. 40:31)
Gulping water as I used to do the many years before the inhaler, I felt the tightness loosen and the indrawing cease. Walking slowly, I sought comfort in prayer, tears pouring unabashedly down my cheeks. In those moments, surrounded by the mountains I love in the state I adore, with wildflowers blooming and sunshine streaming about me...I had my answer.
Tears of frustration turned from sorrow to joy as I saw clearly for the first time the purpose in this struggle. As I neared the precipice of the ridge, I felt my lungs stabilize....they always do, around 20-30 minutes in. It's like they finally decide to open up, and act like everyone else's lungs.
So I ran.
My best split was 12:38. But this was my terrain.
And let's be honest-it was pretty much flat or downhill at this point, too:)
So love Arizona.
I got to the car exhausted, and enjoyed the now-rush-hour-free quick drive home.
The shower I took was among the best of my life.
It had been a terrible run, but I had survived. As I got ready for the day (and my hair gave me fits) I contemplated the purpose I felt I had discovered. Lunch with the Buckeye brought up how we had come to Arizona, and it drew me back to thoughts of purpose. The desire to live here started when I was 15, and took 24 years to accomplish.
I'm moving to the Valley.
The next day in Prescott, I was delighted by the lush outburst of new leaves and blossoms. Love for my adopted hometown washed over me, but my heart's message was strong: it was time to head to Phoenix.
I have been given the greatest gift of time the past two months. My life has been incredibly blessed, especially now. Every heart wish, every "what if I could only" has come to pass.
It is not a coincidence that it coincides with better choices, and a desire to first seek God.
Look! A tiara.....:)
This is my "life verse"-not my favorite but the one I know I always must go back to. I think of it often, along with a sermon I heard in Florida. At one time my life was devoted to seeking Him; my sister's suicide, compounded by the loss of several Christian friends and a complete mistrust of what a "Christian marriage" is had lead me to maintain my relationship with God, and distrust nearly all His followers down here.
I'm kinda getting over it. Slowly.
God and I never had an issue with one another. My fellow Christians? I've struggled. In my struggles, I did less.
Brake lights.
Whether I had hit the brakes due to those around me, or a halt because of my struggles, it matters not. In the end, I kept my faith simply because I did not quit.
The run wasn't fun. But to have discovered a purpose?
Worth it all.
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