This was sent at 11:59pm the day before it closed!
Remember how much I DIDN’T want to go?!? And how I settled in? And found my groove? And benefitted from the work I did in August on my September honeymoon?!?
All. For. Naught.
I Facebook lived my distress as accountability for walking in.
Poor Dude at the counter.
Like Dude so did not deserve my angst, which I tried to dial back when it triggered him (literally. I felt bad as I know his condition is physiological) but yet I needed to let him know so he could have his management reach out to me. My old young kid at the counter at my old location (which is growing more dear to me by the moment!) had gotten used to my growls of discouraging banter...!! Still, Dude was super cool and even showed me where the arc trainers were.
They had 7.
This is a still from my video in which I remark that it smells like sweat. Note the 16 and the 45...back in early August that read 1 and maybe 10.
In my Facebook live, I make the comment that walking in alone is pretty difficult; that it’s same reason people don’t go to church. It’s not fun to do either, but you know you should and supposedly you’ll feel better after both.
I don’t feel better though.
When I left, after a full blown bad asthma attack in the first third, I wanted to cry. I don’t like feeling bad after exercise. I want to have the happy rewarding exercise endorphins. I know my honeymoon and the huge amounts of walking (AND CLIMBING!) we did were possible because of my month in the gym before we left. I was just very tired of feeling bad. So is the Buckeye.
Since his accident, he’s suffered from high blood pressure. He never had it before, and it’s a lingering injury. He takes a cocktail of prescription drugs every morning, while hiking hard two-three times a week to get his body back into shape. Rugby, unfortunately, is no longer part of his exercise regime. We switched PCP’s this summer to one more proactive in getting him better (with or without prescriptions) and she suggested stepping down on one medication that was used for headaches (and had, in fact, been the drug in March that had stopped the constant headache he’d had since the accident in December.) In August he dropped his dose to the minimum, with awful mood swings...but he stuck it out. The headaches didn’t return, but he certainly didn’t feel better. Right before we left on our honeymoon, one of his specialists changed his blood pressure medications, as his prior regime still wasn’t getting it under control. The debate continued: was his blood pressure elevated still due to the injury or something else?
So while I complain of hating exercise and mild asthma, my hubby has dealt with crippling exhaustion, puddy-headness, and a body that seems to be refusing to heal. Add in brain days and yeah. It’s been super tough.
I love that he’s a trooper...but goodness.
Two weeks ago, one of my carts needed work. My mechanic and his wife came to the house, and she asked me if the Buckeye had tried the CBD oil yet she had dropped off. I had forgotten about it; we had decided he would try it after our honeymoon in case of adverse reactions. That night the Buckeye decided to drop the one medication he was on the lowest dose of (and had already had approval to drop from his doctor.) My research on CBD did show it triggered the same area of the brain as the medication he was dropping, so I figured it would be ok.
It wasn’t ok.
It was a miracle.
The puffy-headness, dry mouth and lethargy disappeared overnight. He woke up feeling normal for the first time in ten months. All day he kept texting me, telling me he felt amazing. I was skeptical, but delighted...and on edge. Would it last?
Multiple opportunities came up for brain days...many triggers presented themselves. He remained unphased. His energy increased, and I researched the drug he had gone off of.
He’d had every single side effect listed. Now off the medicine, they were all gone.
While I debated whether it was simply going off the one med, or the substitution of the CBD (which his PCP has encouraged him to try) that made the change, I found myself leery. Would this last? After a year of nothing but trials, I was hesitant to rejoice...even if it did seem like he was feeling back to his old self.
He took the doors off his Jeep😎
It’s like exercise and me: I see brief improvements, but it’s never lasted. Would this be different?
Back at my new gym, I’d settled in to going twice a week. I wasn’t happy, my weight wasn’t changing and I still had asthma but hey; I was going. My blood pressure (which has always been normal) actually was getting better...110/70, as opposed to 120/80. I knew this only because we used my blood pressure to gauge if the Buckeye’s blood pressure machine was accurate. His had been in the 130/90’s...but had improved to close to normal the new medication over our honeymoon.
This changed, too.
As the Buckeye continually felt better, we talked more about things we wanted to change. He admitted in his injury he had been unable to focus on little things, as he simply tried to survive. He started trying a bit, and I savored it. Encouraged, I began researching other things we could do to improve our health. We talked about going back on the 5-2 diet, which we both had done so well on two years before...but I admitted I wasn’t committed to dieting right now. Life had been an emotional struggle for 18 months...and limiting my food wasn’t an option. My exercising was keeping my weight the same, so I felt no need to further tax my soul. Then the Buckeye stumbled on an article about recent research on a medical condition he has, separate from the injury. It suggested that ketosis (being in a fasting state) could reverse it.
Well, that made me do a double take.
While 5-2 was effective in this study, the 8 hour diet (eating in an 8 hour window, with 16 hours of fasting) was ideal. The researchers lamented most people couldn’t control their diet...but I saw hope. So I researched it...and talked to the Buckeye. I’ve often said that breakfast was an invention of the rich, and rarely ate breakfast myself...so this would be an “easy”
diet for me. One week ago, we went on it. Ate our first meal at noon, and made sure to finish eating by 8pm. Black coffee doesn’t break a fast, so that got us through the morning. The Buckeye also started taking his blood pressure meds at noon with lunch, as he needed to take them with food. We planned to talk to the specialist about it, but didn’t think much else as we were doing this to try and reverse his medical condition that had nothing to do with his injury.
He’s been very, very happy as of late. Me? I had forgotten what a goofball he was!
Last night he glanced at his blood pressure machine, and asked me to take it. We’ve been awful in tracking it since we got home; since it had been consistently better in the mid 120’s over 80’s instead of 130’s over 90’s we simply weren’t as worried. The new med had worked, it was finally in the normal range with medications. Since he’s started the CBD, and his mood had so drastically improved, I really wasn’t thinking about his blood pressure.
So, I took it.
Then I took it again.
Then I took mine, to make sure it was reading correctly; it was.
So I took his again.
100’s over 60’s. Three times.
Frankly, we were stunned. (It also explained something light headedness he’d had that weekend!!) While we know to be wise, and he’s not going off medication without doctor supervision...we are optimistic. Further research into both fasting and CBD showed both have proven blood pressure reduction effects.
His hope is to go off all prescription medications. I’m hopeful I’ve got my husband back.
Does make it easier to go to the gym? No. But I am reminded that making healthy choices doesn’t always mean you see the results. But then there’s this:
Normally I struggle to burn 200 calories in 30 minutes...but my first time at the gym in a fast? 272.
Every visit to the gym since we went on the 8 hr diet I’ve burned almost a hundred more calories.
And I haven’t had an asthma attack.
Soooooooooo while it’s early, I’m slightly optimistic. Could this change be a significant one? As I daily see my husband’s physical and mental health improve...I am cautiously less skeptical.
Time will tell.
In the meantime, I’m not as saucy going to the gym. (Well, that’s a lie. I told the clerk at the desk that telling me to have a good workout was akin to me telling them to have a good bowel movement...)
Perhaps, just maybe, we have good days ahead. What we do have, regardless, is a partner to go through it. Even when I’m at the gym alone, or the Buckeye is on a job site. And that we’ve come to remember, as a result of our honeymoon and the weeks since our return. We aren’t in this alone. We are doing this together. After simply surviving, we are adjusting to to getting better. Yes, there are still hard days. Yep, he’s still in recovery and we both need to lose 20 pounds. But we aren’t alone in this journey, and quite honestly, we are better together.
And that I’m not skeptical about...and very much reassured on.
