Hazard yit Forvard

I’m on the plane, just past Greenland and about to enter Canadian airspace.

This morning I “stood on the balcony” with the British Royal Family.

I also danced in the ballroom of Buckingham Palace with my husband, the Buckeye.

He’s been pretty tired; he’s still very much in recovery from that brain bleed 9 months ago.

When we left EIGHTEEN DAYS ago(!!) we were tired, worn out and emotionally drained from the last year. The loss of his job the day he returned from our wedding, and his near death three months later with a long recovery had worn us out. Few marriages are tested this strenuously early on; we both left worried.

Finland assured us we had nothing to worry about. The spark is still very easily fanned into a flame!

We also reaped the rewards of our efforts to get in shape before our trip: while it may not have been my best, it was more than sufficient to have a very physically active honeymoon.  We averaged over 5 miles and 11 flights of stairs everyday in Europe, with only one showing of the Air Monster (in Edinburgh, after climbing eight flights of outside stairs in a pretty urban/polluted environment.)

We had loved Finland, and eagerly anticipated Scotland. Little did we know how deeply it would touch us.

Our touchdown in Aberdeen was likely the toughest of any landings I’ve ever had-in a crosswind with a short runway.

Kinda like our first year of marriage: Bam! You’re here!

Unlike our first year, however, we had an unexpected upgrade from Europcar!  Good lord this vehicle was SWWWWWWEEEEEET.

I had prearranged dinner at our BnB; we sank into a cozy Scottish kitchen and enjoyed lasagne and cobbler with a bottle of white wine. The Buckeye was struggling a bit: his stamina was starting to give earlier each day. I had known this was a possibility and planned accordingly-every day was flexible. We could add things if he felt up to it, but focused on only one main thing a day. 

Shirley’s back garden. If you ever go to Scotland, stay with Shirley in Peterculter!

Our first destination? Dunnottar Castle.  This ruin caught our fancy right after our engagement, and I even blogged about it.

What girl doesn’t want this wedding photo?!!!!?

I had discovered Dunnottar Castle when I researched Gregg’s Scottish roots. He’s actually a direct descendant of the earl marishal’s of Scotland, who BUILT THIS CASTLE. Like seriously, wickedly cool.

Or just Lovely😂😂😂

(The Buckeye says I say that too much now.  With an accent.)

As we had seriously discussed eloping, I was quite surprised when the Buckeye brought up eloping to Scotland, and having it at Dunnottar.  Neither of us knew the other was thinking Scotland, and never before had we talked about Dunnottar.  We had both discovered it separately, when googling the clan castle of the Keith’s.

Because of course we are both clan Keith. Seriously.

Back in February 2018, we very seriously considered a Scottish elopement to Dunnottar; we found out we needed a marriage visa, and we got together the costs. I called my lifelong BFF to make sure she had a passport to be my witness; he decided he’d pull a witness from a local pub😂😂 (I love this man so much-he makes me laugh, and that’s wonderful!)

But my house hadn’t sold, and everyone told us we needed to sell my house first. Like everyone.

And my daughter the Commander commanded us to not elope.

And as I added the costs of Scotland and saw them equal a small wedding in Prescott, I let the dreams of Dunnottar slide. The Buckeye let my unsold house take center stage, and refused to set a wedding date until it sold.

And the Dark Days began.

We had only fought once the entire time we dated, from that point on, we struggled. The house became a noose with each day it remained unsold, and eventually we set a date without a sale. The offer came within 48 hours of us doing so, and it did sell a month later. But I was worn out from the battle...of every month working to make the money to pay the mortgage and bills, spending time on my knees trusting God I’d be ok. The days apart were hard, and the stress was huge. In my mind, I’d lose the Buckeye if it didn’t sell; the increasing anxiety that I’d lose him made the road much tougher.  The sale, I thought,  would alleviate it; instead the rougher storms came right on its heels.

What if we had eloped? It’s a what if I try not to think about...but climbing the cliffs around Dunnottar I couldn’t help but think of the fact we had both separately had thought to elope there.

This day was my favorite day of our honeymoon.

For as I climbed and was overwhelmed by the beauty of the Scottish coast, the magnificence of the ruin and the windswept romance of a wedding there I felt the tears run down my cheeks.

This had been Plan A, God’s Very Best.

He had wanted this for us-this magnificent, over-the-top, so us, so wildly wonderful spot for us to say our vows. Both of us knew it, and neither of us listened.  Instead, we did the “wise” thing and waited for my house to sell.  

The joy we experienced here-it was immeasurable.

The tears were a humbled mix of joy, repentance, awe and regret. My Father God had wanted me to have this magnificent gift, and I had said no.  Grabbing the Buckeye’s hand, I shared my thoughts; he agreed.  He knew.  He admitted he knew then, too.  At that moment he prayed, asking God to forgive our lack of faith, and thanking Him for His faithfulness to us.

In Scotland, our faith was renewed.

These are the coat of arms and motto’s of Gregg’s great (9 times) grandparents.

The Keith clan motto is Veritas Vincit.

So I had a little bonding moment with my great-nine times-grandmother-in-law.

Though adversity we will move forward.

That’s what we are doing...may we find more joy in our future.

There’s many more honeymoon tales to be told, but none more important than this:

We will seek first God’s will for us, and walk by faith.

For we have had the rather rare glimpse of what we gave up, and know the pain of the harder road. Truth conquers, and we will move forward through adversity. 

And we will return.

How this place restored my very soul.

We have couple goals, entwined with personal goals...and Dunnottar represents them both. As we seek to do God’s will first, we are reminded that He always wants the best for us. When we do it our way, even if it seems wise, we forget His way is higher and better.

Even if it seems harder...that’s where faith comes in.

He bought a kilt for his next visit...😍

Our honeymoon reassured us we were a match, and that together we can do amazing things. Our delight in each other was only topped by the reminder that Not only will it be ok, but it can be amazing if we do what God has called us to do.

So we rewind.  Remember the last thing we knew we were to do, that we haven’t. Each of us has a different personal path-but one that leads us parallel to the same destination.  We found those paths again at Dunnottar. God is so good to show us as we wandered.  May our resolve and direction stay true, and we find ourselves again there someday soon.

Hazard yit Forvard.

Unexpected Rewards

We’ve been on our honeymoon for 10 days, with 8 more days to go.  Technically.

Although it started like this, sooo...

It’s funny what our expectations have been.  We thought we’d have a celebratory drink at Sky Harbor.

We did not.

Instead I yelled “Go Blue” when the gate agent said, “Hey, watch this” and yelled out two random letters to which everyone (but me, in the Michigan shirt) yelled back two more letters in a group attempt to spell a four letter word. (For those unfamiliar, Buckeyes can’t spell the name of their state without help. One says O-H and the other says I-O.)

Heh.  The state to which we travelled is a four letter word. 🤪

Anywise, the Buckeye was stressed. He’d planned an 80th surprise party for his mom the day after we got to Ohio, and he realized he was the weak link. If anyone was going to accidentally tell her, it would be him.

He needn’t have worried. It went perfectly, 45+ people showed up, including cousins who flew in. It was a wonderful way to meet the majority of the Buckeye’s family and friends!

So, I thought maybe after the party he would relax, but the next day we drive north to see my people.

My cousin and I both wore sparkly blue Kate Spades because we are the same people:)

My people. Ohhhhh how I’ve missed them! (Pam, how did we not get a photo together?!?)

We actually had a purpose in going to Michigan. While my brother, who is an ordained minister suggested it was because I’m a diva who needed a second wedding ceremony, it was really a chance to remember our vows. It’s been a super tough year.

Vows renewed, we headed to Cleveland.  That’s about 5-6hrs of driving that day alone.

With Swagger, the official Browns dog.

The next day, our actual anniversary, we met up with the Knight’s sister and her fiancé, and the Knight’s college roommate and his wife for breakfast.  Yes, my late husband’s people...and it was wonderful. On to the game with the Buckeye’s brother, sister-in-law and two of his friends, including the one who had packed his reserve when he had a cut away so long ago and had saved his life (just like me!)

Then the Browns lost, and we walked 6 miles and couldn’t seem to get a pizza delivered to our room with any speed.  The Buckeye was worn out, and I worried.

The next day, we drove back to Michigan...via State Route 2...and memories came flooding back of childhood trips to the area we both had taken. After lunch with my lifelong BFF we headed to my old home airport.  Where it took forever.

Boarding flight two at airport three...

And off we went to Finland.

We arrived at 2:30 the next day, and immediately began to explore.

Quite simply, he could not stop pinching himself.  

We wandered for hours, soaking in Helsinki.  Dinner of reindeer was a must do, and we walked back to the apartment exhausted. We had walked almost 6 miles.  The next morning, knowing rain was forecasted, we got up early and went to Suomenlinna, the island fortress.

It was then we knew.

We did almost 8 miles that day, between our island time, walking the city and trekking to a tattoo shop for the Buckeye to get a special piece of ink commemorating his Finnish heritage. The next day we flew north to Toholampi, where both of his great grandparents (his paternal grandmother’s parents) had been born and raised.

We spent almost two hours looking at graves in the church cemetery. 

That day we walked 6 miles again.

Back to Helsinki, and we had the joy of a photography tour of the city.

We could not stop laughing.

And the photos captured something we both had worried was lost.

We did another 8 miles that day, and climbed 18 flights of stairs (we had averaged 14 flights a day, which is not hard when your apartment is on the fourth floor and the elevator doesn’t work.)

I have never been more thankful for the exercise I had done prior before.  August had been simple discipline to go to the gym, to just show up.

Little did I know I was insuring a wonderful trip.

All the weeks of podcasts and “Building the Browns” episodes while on the arc trainer, which was so slow and tedious as my lungs built in strength, had prepared me for a wonderful honeymoon adventure in Finland.

I could walk miles without an asthma attack.  I could climb stairs without stopping. I had stamina to go, go, go.

Because while I watched “Building the Browns” I was actually building up me.  All the complaints, all the whining, all the choices to go against and give something (not often my best, but wait until my next blog) was the actual training my body needed to do exactly what it’s just done: walk an average of 6 miles a day without complaint.

Well, my feet do complain a little. I am 48, after all.

Finnish pastries. Despite the goodies, all of my pants are loose.

Our Finnish part of our honeymoon has come to a close; we are off to Scotland.  As we depart, I am delighted to have the reward of a health body that easily enjoyed Helsinki and all it had to offer.

Made possible by regular exercise, the entire month before.

Remember how dubious I was? 

Every bit of me is thankful now.

No, August wasn’t my best.  But I did it, consistently, and didn’t quit.  My reward has been a honeymoon I was able to fully enjoy...and it’s not over yet!  Furthermore, in all of this we have found something more: we really are a match.

We had both worried before we had left; about stamina, about us. It’s been so very hard, much harder than we’d let on.

Oh, it’s still very much there!

We rediscovered all the little things we loved about each other on these walls: long walks with long talks. No phones (expect for occasional navigation) and the ability to reconnect as we do desperately needed.  Yes, we really are meant to be.  Just as I strengthened my body beforehand, so now we are strengthening our hearts.

It really, truly, is going to be ok.

Not my very Best

The GPS said the reroute would only take 25 extra minutes.

It took an hour....on washboard roads.

I-17 was closed due to a brush fire, minutes before I was to get on it. As I suspected, there were dirt roads that could take me around it.

Which apparently semis decided they could take, too.

I’d always thought there were back routes around sections of the interstate, and recalled recent interstate shutdowns and wondered why state police hadn’t lead people off the highways on these roads to other major roads. (Still a good question!) My first ten miles I had no traffic; my last twenty I crawled with several hundred other vehicles.

The novelty wore off fast.

The scenery was stunning-I’d love to go Jeeping on this road someday-but the dust got monotonous, and the bumps irritating.  It had already been a super long day, and I was cooked.

Kinda like most days:  I’m completely worn out.

Special Olympic golf coaches, year three!

Don’t get me wrong. Life is getting better, but I can’t say that I’ve been giving it my very best.  I want to give it my very best, very much so.  In some areas, I truly am giving it my very best.

But overall?

Not so much.

Giup always gives it his very best, however.  Treats may be involved :)

In recent crisis, the motto to give it my very best *has* pulled me through some very tough spots. I honestly have given my very best to some top priority things, namely the Buckeye’s continued recovery.  Exercise and diet in my life, however, has NOT been one of them.  Instead, they are getting a very different set of rules.

Exercise is strangely becoming a routine.

This guy tags along about half the time.  Only half, not all.

I go to the gym at least once every three days, pretty much without fail.

Seriously.

I’m sticking to the the Arc Trainer, nothing else. 30-45 minutes.  Slowly increasing the level.  Burn about 200 calories a session.  That’s it.

This is not my very best.

My best would be a circuit through the weight machines, another training session with Brad and pushing myself to go longer and harder on the arc trainer.

Of course this is how I feel about that...!

In truth, I’m taking a very different approach to exercise:  I’m starting very slow, but very steady.

My first goal is to not have to use my inhaler.

I taped my gym ID to it so I wouldn’t forget to bring it.

This far. I’ve only used it on one visit-but it was a high pollution day., and early in the workout.  Given I’ve gone over a dozen times, I’m happy with my lungs.

I’ve also learned a huge secret about me and exercise.

YouTube.

Really truly.

I’m not a big fan of videos-everyone in my family will tell you I prefer to read. I rarely watch tv anymore.

But.

The Cleveland Browns

and

Safiya Nygaard

Have changed my life.

Seriously.

I put on one of their videos-and get on the arc trainer. There’s no gym noise. My focus is on something I thoroughly enjoy, not some mindless HGTV show or the local news.

And exercise is easy.

I caught myself looking forward to watching the next Building the Browns and ran to the gym to watch it.  226 calories later, I was pleasantly surprised in how fast the time had gone.  I genuinely hate exercise...but this?

It’s not my very best.

My lungs are not protesting.  My legs and arms do not fell like sore jello the next day, but I know I am getting stronger.  The scale says I’ll fit into jeans for my Hoodie Honeymoon.

And that’s just fine.

I think we stress ourselves out, feeling that in all things we must give our very best.  Yes, when it comes to the Buckeye, he needs that.  My business deserves that. But in somethings, it’s good to just have good habits!

Habitually exercising was never a thing I thought I could do, I dreaded it so much. Watching a video on making a Frankenstein Lipstick, however?! Guilty pleasure.

Add exercise and the guilt is removed. 😏

So for me, although I am months and years out from it being official, I may have found a way change my life for the better.

K-Pop makeovers and football preseason videos.

And lazy Sundays after a workout with the Buckeye and the cat and the dog all piled on the couch.

So it seems my sidetrack into a gym (which I hate) and the realization that not every area of my life has to be my very best (only the most important areas) is slowly paying off.

Well, for certain my lungs and heart are much healthier.

And that gives me hope.

Hope that I’m on the right path, even though it’s very different from the ones I’ve tried before.

“Hike like a Granny” I used to say.  Thinking that was the right path all along....slow and steady.

It’s not my very best. But in this case, it’s the best it can be!