The Aristocracy

I’ve just returned from the United Kingdom, and my distain for the aristocracy has been renewed.

Except for her, and her family, of course.

Let’s just be honest: no matter what I do, I will never be rich. Not like them, at least.  Even though I am well on my way to creating a company that I know I can eventually sell for millions, I will never be rich like them.

The elite.

Patreos principal divides the world into the 80/20.  The aristocracy goes one further and divides that 20% into another 80/20.  This top  20% of the upper 20% are very careful to protect their ranks; Meghan Markle is proof of that.

The Commander, in a room at the castle we stayed in.

I love capitalism, so what I say next is going to be a shock to everyone: at this point in time we might as well have socialized medicine. The aftermath of the Covid pandemic, the lockstep of all health systems to demand compliance…they really are one in the same. Big Pharma is the elite, the insurance companies the rich, and everyone else is just down on the pecking order.  My visit to the ER right after my  return to America reminded me that the poorest among us will seek out ER care because they cannot be turned away. Those with good health insurance can also afford it . Those of us in the middle however, are left footing the bill for both parties, with our sky high deductibles and large co-pays.  I remember Rush Limbaugh saying that Obamacare was designed to fail; that it would drive prices up so high the people would beg for socialized medicine. Well, here we are. I’d rather have socialized medicine, then deal with the system the way it is. The plan worked.

Maybe.

In Europe, I walked an average of 9 miles a day. I did not lose any weight. I’m at my absolute heaviest , and nothing seems to change. I have sought medical help, and no one can tell me what is wrong. “It’s just menopause“ and then they want me to take a bunch of pills. 

What about diet and lifestyle?

Because I’m certain, my obsession with potato chips is not healthy at all.

Right now there is so much junk science supporting whatever cause a person believes in it’s really hard to know what is the honest to God truth.

You can research whatever topic you want and you will find scientific proof to back up what you want to believe. We saw this in the pandemic; “trust the science” was used by both sides, and supporting their cause. Which side was right? Likely, there was some real truth in both arguments; a middle ground that we will never discover because of the polarization of each stance.

My faux mask life…

In general, I am an optimist. The last four years, however, have worn me down. I need help figuring out my health, but it seems none is to be found. My medical doctor wants me to take prescriptions off label that might help. My naturopath doctor wants me to take supplements that might help. My own attempts at exercise, i.e. the aforementioned 9 miles of walking a day for two weeks with no weight loss, did help my blood pressure and my resting heart rate but it didn’t improve my weight, or my LPR. 

Beyond discouraged about my personal health. 

To make matters worse, it’s Summer. The high heat of Phoenix makes it nearly impossible to do any outside exercise; which is where I prefer to be.  It is my legitimate hope to relocate to Prescott for June, July and August. To be able to hike regularly in the places I love.  To get away from the freezer full of frozen meat, and a pantry full of canned goods and shop at the Farmers Market instead…

I guess I can see the hills from my house here in Phoenix…

These are the days in which you don’t know if you were at the starting line of a marathon, or at mile marker 25.  Both are daunting - one no more than the other. On our trip, I realized that I was truly at my point of breaking, no matter what spot it was.

But this (it’s the freakin’ CONCORDE)

And this (that’s Disneyland PARIS, y’all🤩)

And yes, even this (season opening photo for 2023)

These little thing…these points of joy…are proof it’s going to be ok. If I seek first His kingdom, it doesn’t matter there’s an aristocracy, a TBI that causes my personal life endless challenges and everything else.

Because, in the end, I’m always an optimist.  

And no matter what, I will never believe in the no win scenario…

And always make lemonade (or lemon meringue, or lemon curd) out of life’s lemons.

Always.

Habit making

Welp, I just realized I’ve gone four days without exercising.  Actually. Four months. Ish.

But I also have a Top Gun nod in one of my puzzle rides, sooooo…

My habit making effort lasted about 10 days. I’ll try again-if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.

Which has pretty much been my life for the past five years?!

Note the little 🔒 beside the date. Facebook is my online diary; sometimes I post things just for me.  This, however, I reflect on for the better: “But maybe.”

Puzzle Rides was still in its infancy, not making enough to cover its own expenses. Gregg’s brain injury still consumed our days (lol, kinda still does…) For the first time in my life, I was fighting depression, having been banned from all in-person medical care and public in general. 

“But maybe.”

Maybe love would conquer the hard days (two and a half years later, some days are still very hard. Overall, however - so much better.) Maybe the attorney general’s office would help (lol-finally!!) Maybe my little company would work (spoiler - it pays all our bills and we are looking to expand! Come join us, no golf cart required yet!)

My depression broke when I played a worship song I heard at Abbie’s baptism on repeat - My Shepherd - which is simply a version of Psalm 23.  It begins “IF the Lord, you are my shepherd, what shall I fear, what shall I want.”

IF.  But maybe.

It’s a choice.

A choice to choose to walk in love. A choice to work hard to grow a business. A choice to stay when it would be easier to go. A choice to choose the promises of God-IF He was my Shepherd…you see, it’s a choice to be shepherded.

For a week, in my office I played this song.  At the end of that week, Gregg lost his job.  We rushed the opening of Puzzle Rides Scottsdale.  My days filled, and my mother died. My father came, the business grew. I changed, for the better. Then my daddy died, and sorrow struck. 

Along with this crazy thing called menopause.

And I gained ridiculous weight after having lost a significant amount…despite not changing anything. 

Thankfully this guy doesn’t say a word about it-even with a brain injury he knows to keep quiet!! 😂

So habit making?

I’m really wretched at it.  

Really wretched.

Now let’s chat about menopause.

It’s 4:22am right now, and I’m drenched in sweat.

Supplements worked for a few months, then completely quit working.

So what to do?

Wait for the dawn for one…

Well, I guess I need to start exercising again.

I’ve gone back to the pool.

It’s indoors, which isn’t ideal, but it’s close. The Buckeye said he’ll go with me; except he’ll go workout.  So I’ve gone now, twice.

They don’t allow phones on the pool deck. 🙄

And my kicks aren’t right and my swim caps don’t keep out water.

But I’m not a blonde, sooooo

And I had a motorcycle accident when the bike fell on me and now my thing is banged up…

My biker hubby took me to go watch planes for lunch!!!

But I’m at it. Again.

I like repeating visits to the Open. Gyms? Not so much.

Anyone want to take bets how long this time lasts?

😂😂😂