Every photo in this blog entry I took "sight unseen." Meaning my battery power was so low I had to have the brightness very low-so I just pointed in the general direction of what I saw.
It was magic.
After writing yesterday's blog, talking to a friend and reflection and prayer, I have tremendous peace in my heart that what is best for me is to slow down...in every way. While not worried or overwhelmed, I was letting frustration over things I could not control dominate my thinking. As a Strong & Complicated woman, I wanted it fixed, now.
That is me under bad stress. I want instant results. I do not want to think about it, I want it done.
Unfortunately, that doesn't always work when a) you work in government, b) you're starting a business and c) in general with any people in your life.
Today, I got to drive the old police cruiser, an '07 Dodge Charger.
I had a luncheon with the Chamber and errands to run in Prescott; it also meant I had a 1/2 hour lunch break with lunch already eaten.
Thinking heavily about my recent decisions and conversations, and remembering the nightly shakes that had disturbed my sleep, I decided to hike the Constellation Trail on my return back to Chino after running errands in Prescott. I knew I could take the North 40 and cut back on Ham & Cheese for an easy 20 minute hike. That, and I had on boots.
Well, riding boots.
Many years ago, I hiked Hadrian's Wall in Northumbria. Steeped in Arthurian Legend and set away in rural pastures and hills, I had found a lingering hope that soothed my soul.
Today was such a day.
I had hiked this trail alone in January, in a wet snow that delighted every part of me.
Today, the same joy that had filled me in January captured my soul once again--I was amongst my beloved rocks, in charge, and enjoying the views.
Eighteen months ago, my neurologist reminded me that I needed to hike weekly to get rid of the build up of stress. There truly has not been time....not since we bought Greenie, and then the added twist of adding a second location immediately.
So the decision in the past week to "slow down" has been one I honestly thought impossible--there's simply too much to do!
Or is there?
Let's just say I felt well protected from snakes. I also wished my Preheel had already arrived...
So, I'm slowing down. At work, at home, in all things...
And suddenly I found time to hike.
Hiking is a balm to my weary heart. While I haven't been worried (far from it, frustration is an entirely different form of evil) I have let frustration drive my decisions. I make them fast and quick...and now is not the time for that.
The Constellation Trails is named for a Constellation aircraft that crashed there in 1959. Only opened to the public in 2011, pieces of the doomed plane are still found there; I had last found a piece months ago. Today I stopped to chat to a man about snakes on the trail, and glancing down (to look for snakes) as we chatted, I spotted a piece.
It was a pretty big piece, and I was amazed to find it in this trail section-so close to the trailhead. Looking it over, I was stunned to see something else: it looked like a heart.
My prayer was for patience, to protect my heart both emotionally and physically. The trail then hands me one. Normally, I throw all aircraft wreckage into the collected pile; respecting those who perished. As I walked back towards the motley heap of twisted pieces, I stopped.
Clutching the ragged fragment to my breast, I headed to the trailhead. The point of joy it represented I needed with me for a bit longer; I vow I will add it to the pile, someday.
Someday, when these days of chosen slowness have past, and my heart is secure once more. Someday, when my body is healthy, and I have found the fitness I quest for.
Until then, it is my talisman.
A coincidence I found it? Never. God knew exactly what I needed today, and amply provided.
I simply had to hike to find it.
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