The 20%

"The Pareto principle (also known as the 80/20 rule, the law of the vital few, or the principle of factor sparsity) states that, for many events, roughly 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes."

 It also means that just about EVERYTHING can be divided into 80/20.

Really.

I'm reading Parks & Recreation Journal (I know, right?!) and the difficulty of funding rural recreation.  Apparently, 80% live in urban environments now...and my heart skips a beat.

Rural entrepreneurship.  It's a 20%.

Last night, I drove both Greenie (poor girl, she's had a rough fall) and Red Ride (who, as always, is just marvelous.). A little boy wanted to ride in golf carts for his birthday, and that's what we did.  It was 46°, technically Ride Prescott is closed for the winter, and all of us had a blast.  

Ride.  All I needed was 45 minutes and I was in love all over again.

My business.

My passion.

My focus.

 

 Saw Rogue One again last night, consumed 1/2 a tub of popcorn, red vines and jr mints.  Complete crap and it was awesomeness.

Patience.

I am not going to rush anything.

I am going to be thoughtful and do things with purpose.

Ride is a quest in and of its own...when you add in fitness and the Bothans...yeah.  Three strands, that need braiding, not tangling.

 

So I figured out who the Bothans are:)

I've been a 20%er at times in my life.  80%er at others.

Not certain %er is a real word but...

The truth in all of it is this:  all I ever wanted was for others to succeed.  To have kindness brought to them.  Whether it be a tool for business or inspiration to exercise.  I just want to spread hope.

Of course, that's what rebellions are built on....

 

Hope.

Last night, I came home again delighted by this Nevil Shute/OnTheBeach/Moira&Dwight/Jyn&Cassian/RebelScum telling of the secret Death Star plans.  I shouldn't be-major spoiler here-all the rebels die.  Hope to overcome the Empire is bought by the lives of hundreds...but in essence...the 20%.

I may not be in the natural 20% who are genetically predisposed to exercise.

I chose to be.

Hope.

The critical factor which compels even the weakest to greatness.

Hope.

The anchor of our soul.

Hope.

What makes the 20% change the world for the 80%.

 

Hope.

Learning to weave these strands of my life together.  Hope for a simple braid.

I suspect I have the colors for a tapestry.

Reactions

I woke up this morning broke out in hives.

 What follows is my not-quite-lengthy explanation.  If I was a man, no further explanation would have been necessary, but...

So, the quick and dirty:  chin was irritated.  Put a balm on it.  Wasn't better, but more balm on.  Began to sting, and swell.  Washed it, cold compresses.  Freaked out a bit when I found a hard lump the size of a grape under my chin.  Went to urgent care.  Prescribed antibiotic and steroid.

Woke up with hives.

So which one am I allergic to?  The tetracycline or the prednisone?  50/50 I could guess correctly...

 I'm allergic to tetracycline.

Damn.

So tonight I'm tired, cranky, itchy and exhausted.  The body decided to cascade...and I find myself with no fewer than four minor overzealous immune responses going on.  Add in multiply layers of stress, and what do you get?

 The opportunity to change everything.

My breakthrough on Monday was significant...and it was also the first time in weeks I'd had the chance to exercise.  The build up of stressors has been big-and it's gonna take time to detoxify.

I need to run....regularly.  I need to hike...regularly.  I need to eat healthy....regularly.

To expect any long term results without that regime?

It's not going to happen.

Patience.

My mantra is four days old...I suppose it's my resolution.  Tomorrow I'll put in my ten hours, and take off a bit early to give a birthday golf cart ride to a little kid.  No chance for exercise due to fading light, but I'm reminded of my plans to start swimming.  I can get that membership tomorrow-afterall, I'll be in town for the birthday ride.

 Annnnnnnnd I may just do something similar to this.  Minus #7.

One day at a time.

Little things, everyday.  

Being patient with myself, while actively working what I can change now.

Balance...in a chaotic time of waiting for a house to sell.  Waiting now, for well over a year, for a life without being tied financially to the ex to finally start.

 Soon.  Really truly.  Soon.

I will make this work.  

These may have helped.

Patience.

I can do this. 

2017 It Really Was Asthma

First off, let me say that I am officially done being desperate.

Allergic reaction?  Check.  BEING ABLE TO BREATHE?  CHECK!!

All my life, ever since I could remember, my throat felt tight when exercising.  Always.  Going up stairs?  Out of breath.  Running in gym?  Out of breath.

Surely, I'm just out of shape, right?

Wrong.  Whether it was exercise induced asthma or just mild undiagnosised asthma, I had asthma.

Today, I ran a mile, on a rocky trail, up and down, without stopping.

Then a ran another.

And had a legit asthma attack.😂😂😂

I cannot stop smiling-as I used my inhaler and could instantly breathe.

No gulping down a bottle of water, desperate to open my throat as I have done since college.  No anger at how out of shape I was.

 I wasn't out of shape.  I was just focusing on the wrong thing.  Kinda like how the Buckeyes *thought* they were good...😂🤣

My very toned legs, despite a few extra pounds, attests to the fact I've never stopped questing, never stopped searching for a way to get fit.

Today I'm in Phoenix, after an interestingly fun weekend.  I went to the Fiesta Bowl with Buckeyes, and the Buckeyes lost.

 Me desperately trying NOT to laugh...

While it was awesome hanging out with Flyboy and his son, I suffered a severe allergic reaction to a new skin care product.

Which I was contemplating selling.

Um...no.  I don't think so.

The reaction did something wonderful for me:  it shut a door.

All around me...in just the opening hours of 2017, doors are shutting.  And doors are opening.

There is a fire in my belly for Ride.

Last night I hung out with an aspiring entrepreneur; who wants to change the world.  While not rural entrepreneurship, I was able to guide a little bit...I say a little bit as I made more realizations about my own business than I ever have before.  I've said for awhile January was make or break...and it's more than that.  It's time to just start moving.  My breakthrough today running came because I never stopped seeking, never stopped moving.  It was up to me alone to figure it out-and I did.  Sure people have given me tips and pointers-but in the end, I had to connect the dots and move.

I'm not chasing, and I'm not waiting.  I'll be patient when the situation calls for it, but in so much...I don't have to wait.  I simply have to plan...and then do.

 Time to head back😊

Patience has a purpose...and in one area of my life I am very content to be patient.  In most others?  It's the Now that matters.  

I'm being to see the difference....that's wisdom, I suppose.

Glad I'm beginning to understand that difference; it's  helping me be the best I can be.

Thanks for making me think. 😘

2016: Only the Good

No it's not a blank entry.

 

 

Rough year.

A great way to start my exercise in patience is to acknowledge all the good in 2016 that happened BECAUSE of patience.

1.  

Hmmm.  Let's try again.

1.

Ok, apparently I'm not patient?!?

So, that's another fail for 2016...let's list the good that happened in 2016, regardless of patience being involved.

1. Music.  The year started with the Phoenix Symphony and ended with the Phoenix Symphony.  My appreciation for classical music in all forms shot through the roof in 2016, and I discovered Brahms.  Add in several concerts, live bands and an introduction to several groups new to me; they were all fantastic distractions and an over all blessing.  Add in the correlation between exercise and music that gives me chills...yes.  Music was a huge plus in 2016.
2. Ride.  I'm starting my own business, and we are still in the black as the year closes!  Ride Prescott & Ride Scottsdale brought me an outlet for creativity and business...it's nice to be back.  Add in my business partner, Kyle, who has been my cheerleader even when I don't deserve cheering!
3. My House.  A negative it hasn't sold, but what a beautiful home.  I had a year of living there that was pure bonus.  I am blessed.
4. Prescott.  Oh how I ❤love❤ living in Prescott!  The trails, the downtown, I love it all.
5. My parents.  They sold their home and moved in to help with my two teenagers.  Help out and never questioned me when I asked.  Got me a car, put up with my bad moods.  Wonderful people and again, I am blessed.
6. Cuda & Harbaugh.  Ohhhhhhh how I love my kittens.  A shout out to Indie who started it all.
7. Health.  Despite three concussions and a wicked cold right now, I'm healthy.  Nothing broken.  My kids are healthy.  Praise God.
8. My children, saved for my favorite number 8.  It's been a tough year, especially for Manchild & the Princess.  All are not only making it, but making well of it.
9. Michigan Football.  Go Blue!!  A great season and taking my kids home to The Big House.
10. Flyboy.  Lol, I'd be lost without my BFF and former green beret.  Our friendship and his frank calling out of my nonsense has been a light in much darkness.  Now if only I had not lost the Ohio State bet. 😝

So 2016...it's not been that bad.  I learned a lot, I'm not so naive, and truly, many good things happened.  So what if the list of bad is oh, ten times longer than the good.  Doesn't matter.  Good seeds where planted in 2016.  There can be good crops in 2017...if I am patient, and tend them while they grow.

We shall see:)

Patience

I have long struggled with patience.

 2016 in a nutshell.

I love this painting; it's the only one I did that brought me any satisfaction.  Maybe because it truly reflected that moment in time; little did I know that sentiment would be reflected back to me the entire year.  I had left my marriage with no resentment towards the King, in fact it was the realization that married love was long gone from the relationship that factored into my decision to file.  He was my friend, but not my partner.  He demanded change, but was unwilling to change.  Friends with benefits; not husband and wife.

So when it ended, our friendship easily survived the blow...we truly were friends.  It made me wonder how long ago love had died, that we could so easily be around one another.  In my experience, failed marriages with passionate distaste for each other indicated a love that still burned.  There was nothing in ours - just calm resolve.

That's what hurt the most in the end.  That there was nothing to even fight for.  

So with my divorce finalize on 1/11, I started 2016 with the hopes that someone out there would love me.

Well, at least my curves have been loved?!

This year I learned that I my expectations are unreasonable yet valid, and at the same time, too low and should be higher.  While many would wish it different, it is perfectly valid to want to be in love before making love to them.  I'm told this is unreasonable as "what if it's not good?" and isn't that something you'd want to know before falling in love?  Hogwash.  I was a virgin on my wedding night, as was the Knight.  It took years before it was "good."  And the journey to that was amazing...!  You know from kissing alone if there is chemistry.  The rest? Just applied science.

At the same time I held up a long forgotten moral, I learned that hoping for only crumbs essentially dismissed you from the table altogether.  For so long, I contented myself with the least...trying to justify my starvation for affection and love.  I freely gave trust before it was earned, never valuing my right to be persued.  This was perhaps the greatest lesson on 2016, and it dovetails nicely into my 2017 mantra:  patience.

 Luckily I think I finally put out any remaining embers...

Patience.

I hate to wait.  I think that started back at Cedar Point.

 Every childhood vacation.  Right here.

First it was the wait until the day we went.  It was our only vacation for the entire year, so at times this seemed to be an endless wait.

Then the long two-hour drive there.

Then the lines for the rides.

All for two minutes of pure joy.

Oh, I'm aching to go.  Right now.

Patience had a known payoff:  a day riding the rides at Cedar Point.  As I got older, the game began to find the day with the least wait times.  And I began to hate the wait.

Hating waiting also ties in with a life of rejection.  Being too tall and too awkward, too smart but not savvy.  The abominable wait in school yard pickem's knowing you'd be last.  Being put in the back because you were tall...even if you were the only girl.  My hatred of waiting means I'm often too quick to respond....I am reminded of a conversation about the difference between intelligence and wisdom.  I greatly lack the latter.

 Concerning exercise?  I'm gaining wisdom.  Slowly but surely...

But relationships?

I had been patient with the King.  It ended in divorce.  I was patient with Five...who consumed most of 2016. No one else had a chance with him lurking in the background, his final departure this summer something I can now look back on as dodging a bullet.  Not a month later I found myself enjoying a wonderful new relationship, only to have the carpet abruptly pulled out from under me.  I decided to be patient.  

How'd that work out?

 I am so over crying.  Really.

So patience?  I have little tolerance for it.  About 20 years worth of it not paying off, in my opinion.  Especially in 2016.  Not in relationships, or exercise for that matter.

Exercise.  I am so OVER my lungs and the Air Monster conspiring together.  I've been patiently waiting for them to get healthier.  Nada.  

Then there's work.  I keep waiting for the promised full days.  Instead I'm bored.  Work is an endless cycle of trying to stay occupied.  I've run out of patience with inefficient methods and bureaucracy in general.

In every area of life, right now, I am impatient.  I want change.

Now.

In every area.

Exactly!

And yet....

Patience.

I have no promise of a happy ending.  No promise of two minutes of thrills on a roller coaster.  No promise of eventually running a mile, nevertheless a marathon.

Hell, I still haven't done one good push-up!

But patience.

James 1:2-4, Classic Amplified

2 Consider it wholly joyful, my brethren, whenever you are enveloped in or encounter trials of any sort or fall into various temptations.

3 Be assured and understand that the trial and proving of your faith bring out endurance and steadfastness and patience.

4 But let endurance and steadfastness and patience have full play and do a thorough work, so that you may be [people] perfectly and fully developed [with no defects], lacking in nothing.

Or, in simpler terms, "The wait will be worth it."

 

2017.  

Endurance, steadfastness & patience.

Great blog fodder if nothing else, eh?

 

The Force is with me, I am one with The Force...

Trusting.  Again.

Or is it more than trust?  Perhaps this is the truest essence of what faith is?

Hebrews 11:1, Classic Amplified

"Now faith is the assurance (the confirmation, the title deed) of the things [we] hope for, being the proof of things [we] do not see and the conviction of their reality [faith perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses]."

Apparently, it's time to count it pure joy.

I like the sound of that.

 

Mere Genetics

He's here for the holidays, and it would be silly not to ask.

The Princess with her father The King.

I've been up coughing all night, a wicked chest cold keeping me miserable when I really am desperate for a fun snow hike.  My "vacation" started a day early with a stomach bug; the sore throat from throwing up quickly progressed into a chest cold of epic proportions (I think I must have inhaled something as it came up-this is miserable!). We lucked out with 6-8" of snow on Christmas Eve and had the delight of a white Christmas-rare in most of the country but rarer still in Arizona.

Beautiful Christmas Morning.

The kids spent time sledding; one of my favorite pastimes.  Instead of joining them I nursed another hot cup of tea, hoping for some relief.  As the day went by I ached for some exercise, and the thought of a snow hike creeped up.  I had crampons and poles...why not?

Never mind I couldn't breath and the cough was horrendous.

I love snow.  Hate winter, love snow.  Makes Prescott about perfect-we get snow but it disappears fast.

By Monday morning it had spread to a head cold as well; I was more determined than ever to hike.

Or maybe just to get the hell out of the house. 

I love Christmas.  But I'm tired of it 24/7 the last four days! Lol!

The King was here; we agreed a year ago when we divorced that unless one of us had remarried, we'd spend every holiday together with the kids.  Up until now that hadn't been an issue; this last month, however, the strain of the house still not selling had taken a huge toll.  We didn't really talk and tried to busy ourselves away from each other; it was difficult to even be civil.  Then he brought me coffee after a night of coughing...and the barriers we'd both erected slipped.

"Why are my legs still toned when I'm not exercising near as much as I did this summer?" I inquired, and off he went into a genetics lecture.  We rehashed the last few weeks of exercise and my asthma diagnosis, which he admitted made some sense.  We chatted about George Michael's death and that of Alan Thicke the week or so before (poor Carrie Fisher-she could easily be #3!! Eek!) and had a frank discussion about the casual cocaine use by all three in the eighties and nineties....and how it those choices eventually catch up to you.

While I've never touched a single drug, my sedentary lifestyle worries me.  The last two years I've tried in vain to regularly exercise; living with my parents now I see the results of their lifetime choices.  Dad's bad knees (from exercise) haunt him; daily life is a struggle.  Mom's sedentary life caught up with her six years ago; only now is she somewhat recovered.  Reflecting on both 2015 & 2016, I cannot look back with much satisfaction; I certainly don't want 2017 to be a repeat in failure.  My genetics may have kept me toned when I'm not working out as often as I should, but what can I do to make this next year better?

This can be viewed several different ways...

Lately I've been cutting ties; untethering myself from old relationships that clung despite changes in circumstances.  Flyboy has been encouraging me to be patient in all areas of my life: little did he know that for most of my life James 1:4 has been my mantra:

There she be....

Interestingly, as I just pulled up that scripture, most versions used the word "perserverance" instead of patience.  Of course, I grabbed my Amplified Bible to confirm, it said "endurance, steadfastness & patience."

All things I have readily pursued in my Fitness Quest, with the exception of one.

Patient.

That I am not.  I like immediate results.

Recently, I was told "we have all the time in the world."  Conversely, in my favorite Star Trek:The Next Generation episode #125 The Inner Light, Picard tells his daughter Meribor:

This song makes me weep.  I heard it at the symphony this summer-a highlight of my year.

Now.  Patience.

An article I read this morning suggested making a list of things you want, but to divide them into three sections:  "Write an 'I Want' list and divide it into: 'I Want To Feel', 'I Want To Have' and 'I Want To Be/Achieve'." (The HappinessConcierge) 

Right now I just want to hike this in the snow...

Patience. Now.

How does one satisfy both?

A reset button has just been pushed in one area of my life this past weekend, and I wonder how many more resets I need now in this life.

Or how many I should just be patient with.

Regretfully, I suspect I should be patient with my body as it's fighting off this virus.  A cold snow hike with struggling lungs probably isn't wise.  As the daylight brightens the snowy landscape and my ears ache from the still sore throats, I try to think of alternatives.  

I hate being sick.

Peaking

How in the world I did what I did today, when Thursday was so hard, I have no idea.

 Top of Piestewa Peak, Phoenix

While it took longer than the promised 45 minutes, I was so overwhelmingly delighted with this morning's solo hike.

We each found our own part of the Peak it seems...

 This weekend I had a spot of time away-and managed three hikes in four days.  South Mountain in Awatukee started my weekend, and quite honestly, it was tough.

 But stunningly beautiful!

I struggled breathing, even though the lead up was relatively flat.  I knew my friends ran this on a regular basis-a thought that rather horrified me.

 That's the trail, folks.

Not trail conditions - rather the lack of air.  My hiking partner eventually insisted I give up the backpack; the last bit was better with the load lightened.

Our lunch perch.

I'd not hiked any mountains in metro Phoenix, and love the topographic changes.  It's much more rocky, and steepness is assured...but dang.  Air, anyone?  My tones legs assured me I wasn't out of shape.

Friday I hiked Kierland...

 

Teehee

And had lunch with my oldest...

 

Hm.  Still no blog nickname.  El Presidente?

That evening was Rogue One.

BEST. MOVIE. SINCE. EMPIRE.

The next morning was Dreamy Draw; I took Booms along which meant we hiked instead of ran.  He's recovering from a horrifying bike accident, and trail running isn't quite on the agenda.  I ran a few sprints but immediately started indrawing; it seemed better to give up a trail run in lieu of breathing.

That evening I attended the Arizona Girls's Choir Christmas concert-which my friends' daughter was in.  These classically trained young women were astounding.

 The evening's venue...I'm amazed the continuing effect the Symphony has had on me this year. My appreciation of fine music was grown astronomically.

That evening the three of us enjoyed conversation and wine after the seven year old Songstress  had gone to bed; I have truly missed time with friends.  We made plans for a morning hike up Piestewa (they live at the base), and we all headed to bed.

I vaguely recall my text tone going off at 1am ish.

The Songstress hopped on my bed at 7am, and we had an animated conversation about Santa missing Australia one year, and how women wore dresses FOREVER until just about one hundred years ago.

Morning plans changed when one friend woke with a swollen knee, so I decided to hike by myself (my how times have changed....for the better.). I built a new playlist based on my happier mood, and set off with poles in hand.

Good lord.

 

The "trail."

I loved every second.

And I could breathe.

 

Ridiculously pleased that the Air Monster had not attended.

 

 "Every place upon which the sole of your foot shall tread, that have I given to you, as I promised."

As I neared the Summit and scrambled up the last twenty feet on hands and knees, my beloved Divenire by Brahms came on.  My heart nearly exploded in my chest from sheer emotion-this composition has so caught my imagination.  No longer will I be a conquest, rather I shall be the conqueror.  

 

Then I saw the time...

I had to race back down the steep trail to meet up with Kyle for business...and it was a great meeting.  Of course I was all smiles.

Red.  Again.

I had the reset I so needed.

Grateful for the friends (and understanding family) that made it possible.