Calgon: Take Me Away

by Troy Foster

This message isn't for you - because if you're reading this blog, you have manners, common sense, and a sense of humor . . . . Those that didn't stopped reading by now.

The last few weeks have highlighted for me how many people think that the gym is somehow a place that all elements of decency are left at the locker rooms.  Whether it's what they wear, how they act, or what they let out, it is all surprisingly so common place.  And disturbing.  This is for folks that don't remember that the gym is still a public place; and there are a few basic rules that apply.

Here are a few points that you can feel free to share by tagging someone that really should read this (but you can pass it along in a "ha ha" way):

1.  Clothing is Not Optional.  Most of us are in the gym because we want to get in shape or stay that way.  Safe to say that, for most, covering up is really best for everyone.  Well, why then, do I see so much skin?  And I'm not talking good stuff.  I mean rolls, wrinkly old rolls, butts (yes total asses), and even boobs sagging from the bottom of the shirt.  There are also a fair amount of people that have made progress, but bought the size down a little too soon.

Lesson here:  You need to wear clothes that fit and generally cover your body.  This isn't your house or Hooters (and you can't get a job there).  So please, please - for all of us.

2.  I Can Still Smell You.  I get it.  The gym is an odd place.  Loud music.  People in ranges of disrobing (see above).  Extreme energy.  But, you are not invisible nor are you by yourself.  Just this week, a woman next to me kept farting - loud and proud - throughout the workout.  Friend, that is not what they meant when they said give it your "all out."  And, I looked at you because - despite all that is going on in the workout - I can still hear and smell you.  Accidental farts happen.  But this is not a free for all.

3.  We Are Not Here to Make Friends (or at least I'm not).  I'm fine with the hello before or during the warm up.  And the coaches will talk one-on-one during the workout, that's just fine.  (Also, I'm kind of lying right now - because I hate when most anyone talks to me at a workout (except my three favorite coaches David, Dan, and Kim) - but I know that I'm a freak so want to level that shit out.)

But what is it with people wanting to share during the workout.  First of all, I am working out.  Thus, I can't really talk; and you shouldn't be able to talk either.  Maybe you need to talk up your pace.  Anyway, though I don't really talk to other people, I'm pretty confident that others feel the same way I do about the mid-workout chats.  Just tonight a woman rowing next to me asked "this is really hard right?"  Yes, it's supposed to be hard.  That's why we are here.  Anyway, when I said "yep," I think she took that as a challenge to keep talking to me.  (In other settings where I can look more crazy, I pretend that I'm hearing impaired or special needs - I know so not pc - but I told you, I'm a freak.)  I can't do that at my gym.  So when she jokingly said, "You're fast - glad we aren't racing," I said "Why, because you'd lose?"  No one felt good about that.  But it shouldn't have to happen.  Now, I look like an ass.  Probably I am one.  But, I'm not there to chat.  Maybe I should wear a shirt or something.

I just re-read this and I sound like a bitter old man.  Whatever.  (Wait, that single word sounded bitter.)  But seriously, even if I wasn't, I think there are a lot of us out there.  I have four kids - all 10 and under. When I go to the gym, it's like a Calgon "Take Me Away" Hour.  (For those of you that don't know what that means, it confirms that I'm old and you should Google it - in a nutshell it's "me time.")  And, I'm trying to work my ass off. Smelly, naked (ugly naked), rude, chatty people are not fun.

They are ruining my Calgon.

Pass it on if you agree.  Tag a friend that may or may not need to read this.  :)

Want It to be Easy?

I woke up at 2:47am.

That means I had to make pancakes.

It's getting a little tiresome, waking up and being unable to fall back to sleep.

Maybe I need to push it harder?

Oh, I'm thoroughly stuck on the idea that perhaps the only way for exercise to ever become easy is to hit it hard.  Rather than reluctance, maybe I need enthusiasm?

Enthusiasm has made Pilates a joy, I'll admit.

Today, Pilates was first, and then a big hike on Little Granite.

But first, let me take a selfie.

Flat abs.  Brought to you by Pilates.

I was pretty stoked putting on my exercise clothes today; my tightened abs made everything look smaller and sleeker.  Since change had been small, it was great to see progress.

I had lunch with Dr. Keith, who is a physical therapist, and part of my networking group.  When I complained about my sore trapezius, he diagnosised lack of use AND too much iPhone use.

Shut up, Wesley!

Dr. Keith was right, btw.

Pilates was heavy on the legs, and I found session five to be a challenge.

Though she did let me relax at the end.

I finished up there, and headed straight for my hike with Dotty and the dogs.

Jake, Dotty & Sarge.

Little Granite is a misnomer; it's a 6 mile hike that took us four full hours to complete, with multiple elevation changed right up to 7000ft.

Looking south towards Kirkland.

I realize you may think it's all fun, since I post these pictures (I was trying to show off my biceps, obviously) but the truth is closer to this:

My regular trail resting position.

We were 7/8ths to the top, had been hiking uphill three hours, I had done an hour of Pilates and had three hours of sleep.  Plain and simple, I was tired.

But it felt so good.

Downhill at last!

I pressed through the tiredness, the soreness and focused only on the joy that I knew would accompany the hike's views and completion.

Trail's End.  Another fantastic hike!

It seems pushing hard may just be the fastest way to easy afterall.

 

Awareness

 I must start each day with the news.

Granted it's a British tabloid, but I did know about Bruce Jenner in 2014.

I found the British press scoop the American press, on American news, by 2-4 hours.  Matt Drudge introduced me to the Mail, so it can't be all bad, right?

I forget so many don't know who Matt Drudge is.

I assure you, she knows. 

Any how, I have to have my news fix.  After three news sites I switch to blogs, and then scroll through Facebook.  Satisfied I am aware of what's happening in the world politically (and not politically), I can start the day.

Apparently, this is how the 20% feel about exercise.

Me on the Tower tonight.

I've been made aware that those with the addiction must exercise, or they feel irritable-much like I do if I don't have my news fix first thing.

I'm really loving the retro-1930's equipment.

Pilates focuses on six principles:  control, center, flow, breath, precision & concentration.

Just in case you're only looking at the pictures.

When I manage to hit all six in a set, I am amazed at the immediate improvement, and more importantly, the awareness I have of my body and it's muscular system.  Inhaling or exhaling appropriately gives strength when needed, keeping center allows for not only better form but better strengthening.  I do not feel my mind wander at all as I complete these movements, rather I am fixated on the task at hand.

I wonder if this is how the 20% feel all the time they exercise?

The King assures me that he is like that, but it takes discipline.  (Yet I managed it in a week!  Yippee!)

I am loving the results...

Awareness of the six principles has helped me find a place that I can truly clear my head for an hour and focus on exercise that is showing good results.  Just like I have a need to be aware of the news, I'm finding that this new awareness during exercise is very fulfilling.

Seems I've become aware of a lot of things as of late.

Haven't heard from Maverick lately, so I thought I'd check in.

This afternoon I was telling a friend about the fictional character Miles Vorkosigan.  Ever the source of amusement in my literary sphere, I can't help but think of him tonight.

And on that bombshell...

The Return of the Corn Star

Last week, I really struggled with fitness.

I felt like this most of the week.

I had hiked the Canyon for the second time, and did not feel the need to do anything else for the week.

Except hate on chihuahua's.

While Pilates intrigued and saw some fruit, why bother hiking?  Why continue the quest?  My clothes fit, so...

This is the skirt that started it all.  On 2/7, it rippled on the sides.  Not anymore.

It all boiled down to this:  it was my wedding anniversary to the King.

West Fork hike, last Friday.

For some time now, I'd marked our 17th anniversary as a fresh starting point.  1 plus 7 equals 8...and lately 8's had been cropping up with increasing regularity.

The tire from STS-88.  Seriously.

That meant serious fitness, serious work, serious marriage, serious housework, serious mothering.

I don't do serious well.

So last week was my meltdown (not coincidentally, it coincided with PMS) and this weekend was a mini-getaway.

Bacon, brie, arugula & Dalmatia fig sandwich.  Seriously delicious.

It reminded me that the King is my match.

He hasn't left me despite my tiara, or my repeated demands for selfies.

Yes, it's the start of our 18th year.  Next year is our golden anniversary, because it's 18 years on the 18th.  Given my obsession with 8's, this is significant.  What I could not have predicted was my own mid-life crisis, leaving me questioning everything.

So, I need to let go of hating exercise, since I need the stress relief.

I need to let go of my tiara, and take pride in my home and family.

I need to let go of my doubts and insecurity, and work through the unknown in my new career.

It's a big day tomorrow.

Hoping I'm up for it.

Can I be one again?

The Day I Wanted to Quit

Today was the day.

After a hard day yesterday, and waking up in pain due to the mystery shoulder injury, I was done.

I was done...but I wasn't.  I wanted to quit, I wanted to be done.

But that's not what I'm supposed to do.

Today, after a bad start and many tears, I brushed myself off and squared my shoulders.  I went to my networking meeting, and felt better afterwards.  I filled my calendar for the following week. I left, and then I discover this:

Lynne's article was in Drudge.

This is HUGE to a small news source; it's IMPOSSIBLE to feel bad with such fantastic news.  Shortly thereafter, I received another call, from one of my clients.  A television producer had read their articles in Prescott eNews, and wanted to do a television show about them.

Of course, they may have to close unless they figure out stage one fire restrictions...

I could not help but feel better about my job (I wasn't planning on quitting that, but the boost there did help me refocus my exercise energy) and I rethought the Fitness Quest.  I need more than one week at a facility; my CrossFit Prescott experience was the best thus far due to the fact I did two weeks.  I decided to discuss it with Lucille during Pilates.

Pilates.  This wonderful, intriguing new-to-me exercise.

Much more complex than it appears!

Just when I can't do one more, we switch.

Lucille readily agreed, and some stress was removed by knowing I had the time to truly explore "getting cooked."

Then more good news; Ered has a lilac bush.

My favorite flower.

He filled my arms with the scented blooms, and my soul was restored as I buried my face in their scent.

Then I picked up my painting, and hung it  in the place I picked out weeks ago.

Ian's painting of Prescott.  Love it!

The King of the Central Highlands arrived, and surprised me with a sweet change of plans.  It's our 17th wedding anniversary this weekend, and he's taking me away.

Exercise will be a part of my life, hopefully for the rest of my life.  This morning (and yesterday) were just moments.  Hard moments, but just moments.  My quest continues, and it's going to be ok.

THIS WEEKEND we have a GUEST BLOGGER!!  Troy is on his own Fitness Quest, which he will be sharing with you over the next few days.  The funny thing is we've met only once, when he was 16 and I was 15, out at Lori Lane (do you remember this, Troy?  It's in my journal from that trip!) We were introduced by my BFF Rochelle, who delighted in both of our quests, and thought we could encourage one another.  THANK YOU, Troy, for taking it on!

Happy 17th Anniversary, King of Athletics! 

Anger Issues

I hiked the canyon Sunday.

See?  Proof!  Inner canyon!

So I don't *need* to hike three times this week, right?  After all, I am doing three sessions of Pilates...so a hiking break is acceptable, right?

Or maybe not...

So I wake up this morning due to the mysterious shoulder pain that I also had Sunday.  I know it's not an exercise injury, but dang it, it's painful and 5am is too early.

Especially after being awake until midnight due to drinking too much tea.

Pain makes me grouchy.

This grouchy.

See?  We're practically related.

So I didn't want to hike.  I drove to Thumb Butte anywise.  I sat there five minutes, trying to figure out an escape.

The parking lot was full of women in exercise clothes that matched they're shoes.

Seriously?!??

I waited until they started their hike (up the steep side, mind you) before I jumped out and headed up the sissy way.

These dudes had nothing on me.

I put in my earbuds (in complete disregard for my safety) and marched up the mountain.

"Angel of the Morning" calmed me temporarily, but then it was "You Belong to Me."  Both songs make me think of long, long ago relationships, and the next song put me over the edge:  "Just the Way You Are."

The Knight of Physical Therapy used to sing that to me; suddenly I was transported back to the spring of 1996. My husband had died, and I had fled to Prescott.  The frustrations of the past few months caught up with me, and it wasn't the air monster I was dealing with when the tears began to flow.  

Picking up a stick, I heaved it into the brush.  That didn't satisfy, so I scooped up a hand-sized rock, and hurdled that, too.

He had left me.

He who had loved me more than any other, who had promised to stay by my side, had left me for the grave.  It had been awhile since that old wound had been opened; I recognized it as a reaction to being upset at others in my life.  The old "if he hadn't died..." scenario was trying to play out.  I refused to play with it.

It will be 19 years later this month.

I marched on in silence, daring the air monster to attack.

He didn't appear.

Over the top, now down the easy side...

Proof I was there, and yes, I'm gritting my teeth.

Exercise and I fought the entire way.  I finished the experience wiped out and angry.  

My day improved slightly after Pilates; I enjoyed the concentrated effort into the movements and flow.  There was something genius behind the design, again, I was intrigued.

I finished my work day late, having to attend a mixer in the early evening.  Driving home, I reflected on my foul mood.

I really don't like exercise.  At all.

I don't feel better when I'm done, I don't like it while I'm doing it.  My goal of hiking with my grand kids is twenty plus years away.  So why?

I went to bed, too tired to even finish this post.  Little did I know what the next day held in store.

.  

Catching Up

Today is a rest day...

So hours in Phoenix traffic isn't a big deal then, right?

Yesterday, I went to Wellbridge Health Center and had my first Pilates session with Lucille.  While mildly sore from my canyon hike, I found the workout to be very specific to certain muscle groups.  Lucille was rightfully concerned about my posture; I was delighted she brought it up!

A Pilates reformer.

While the equipment looked unusual, I was quick to appreciate the spring resistance and definitely feel the core and arm workouts today.  I look forward to more knowledge about this type of exercise...

Did you read that?

"I look forward to more knowledge about this type of exercise?!?"

Moi is surprised.

Although stuck at 152 lbs for the last ten days, I can feel the difference.  Being able to breathe is a pretty big change, as is a second successful Canyon hike.  I can honestly say I no longer dread some exercise.

 Some.  Not all, just some.

So today was a rest day; I drove to Phoenix this morning at the invitation of Governor Ducey, to attend a "Lunch & Learn" with Diamondbacks CEO Derrick Hall.

The man is a baseball traditionalist.  Sigh.

Earlier I was in a state over my wrist, which I was determined to hide.

Usually that's white, not bright pink, where I wear my watch.

I had pretty bad sunburn from forgetting my watch during the Canyon hike, and really hated calling attention to it by not wearing a watch.  In addition, I was flummoxed by my wardrobe; the initial seven pairs of pants I tried on that fit only worked with heels.

Tall girls, in heels, is not a good thing for first impressions.

Unless you want to pull a power play.

I did not.

😇

Eventually I found a good business casual outfit, and enjoyed a quiet ride to the valley.  I'm starting to see what path I'd like to follow...it was good to have time for quiet reflection.  After lunch, I was delighted to drive right to ASU from downtown without a map (and a very direct route!)

My oldest, Abbie.

I took her to lunch (no worries Jim, it was time for my two o'clock fueling) and we spent the afternoon window shopping and treasure hunting (a Quiksilver jacket for $9.97?  Yes, please!) She told me all about her boyfriend, school and future plans.  It was wonderful to not only encourage her, but guide her with resources and knowledge:)

As we wandered the mall, it occurred to me the last time we were here together was just before Thanksgiving.  I recalled how badly my lower back hurt, and how quickly I wanted to leave.  Tonight, I delighted in the time with my grown-up daughter, and saw no rush to face traffic.

While I still don't like exercise, I am liking the results.  I feel better, and some say I even look younger.  While still uncertain of so many things, I can be certain of this:  having my health is one of the greatest gifts I can give my family.  With that as a goal, it's a little easier to move on.