Anger Issues

I hiked the canyon Sunday.

See?  Proof!  Inner canyon!

So I don't *need* to hike three times this week, right?  After all, I am doing three sessions of Pilates...so a hiking break is acceptable, right?

Or maybe not...

So I wake up this morning due to the mysterious shoulder pain that I also had Sunday.  I know it's not an exercise injury, but dang it, it's painful and 5am is too early.

Especially after being awake until midnight due to drinking too much tea.

Pain makes me grouchy.

This grouchy.

See?  We're practically related.

So I didn't want to hike.  I drove to Thumb Butte anywise.  I sat there five minutes, trying to figure out an escape.

The parking lot was full of women in exercise clothes that matched they're shoes.

Seriously?!??

I waited until they started their hike (up the steep side, mind you) before I jumped out and headed up the sissy way.

These dudes had nothing on me.

I put in my earbuds (in complete disregard for my safety) and marched up the mountain.

"Angel of the Morning" calmed me temporarily, but then it was "You Belong to Me."  Both songs make me think of long, long ago relationships, and the next song put me over the edge:  "Just the Way You Are."

The Knight of Physical Therapy used to sing that to me; suddenly I was transported back to the spring of 1996. My husband had died, and I had fled to Prescott.  The frustrations of the past few months caught up with me, and it wasn't the air monster I was dealing with when the tears began to flow.  

Picking up a stick, I heaved it into the brush.  That didn't satisfy, so I scooped up a hand-sized rock, and hurdled that, too.

He had left me.

He who had loved me more than any other, who had promised to stay by my side, had left me for the grave.  It had been awhile since that old wound had been opened; I recognized it as a reaction to being upset at others in my life.  The old "if he hadn't died..." scenario was trying to play out.  I refused to play with it.

It will be 19 years later this month.

I marched on in silence, daring the air monster to attack.

He didn't appear.

Over the top, now down the easy side...

Proof I was there, and yes, I'm gritting my teeth.

Exercise and I fought the entire way.  I finished the experience wiped out and angry.  

My day improved slightly after Pilates; I enjoyed the concentrated effort into the movements and flow.  There was something genius behind the design, again, I was intrigued.

I finished my work day late, having to attend a mixer in the early evening.  Driving home, I reflected on my foul mood.

I really don't like exercise.  At all.

I don't feel better when I'm done, I don't like it while I'm doing it.  My goal of hiking with my grand kids is twenty plus years away.  So why?

I went to bed, too tired to even finish this post.  Little did I know what the next day held in store.

.  

The Aftermath of a Canyon Hike (Captain's Log, Supplemental)

The blister on the middle toe of my right foot is stinging.

Like this was sticking out of it.

Poor tootsie.

My external quads are tight, my lower back is minorly peeved and my shoulders aren't speaking to me.

Might have something to do with the weight of eight water bottles I carried yesterday.

My hair...well, I went to bed with wet hair.

That's a rat's nest right there.

I weighed myself, hoping I'd lost about five pounds.

Dang if this thing ain't stuck RIGHT there. 

It's probably because I ate this:

Actually, I ate 1/4 of the steak, all three shrimp and 1/3rd of the mashed potatoes.

Plus two rolls....and two beers.

Anyhow, the King would tell me it was the carbs.

So, no carbs today.

Which means life will certainly be less fun this week, but if I can break under 150 lb for the first time in nine years (knowing I have muscle, too) I would be over the moon.

I could soooo write a story about this moon.

Every step I take today will remind me of what I did yesterday.

It was terribly awesome.

I'll be sore, but I'll love it.  I'll want to brag about it (so unfair that's not socially acceptable), I'll want to rehash it, I'll want to plan another trip there this month.

Because this is not exercise.

It wasn't a workout.

It was a pilgrimage.

"Leave it at the altar," I've heard said many a church service.

I left it in the Canyon.  Among the buttes, the mesas and plateaus.  Down a steep and rocky trail few will ever traverse.  Uncontent to sit and watch the beauty from the rim, I've taken it deeper.  

Inspired by Dotty.

I will always stop for purple flowers.

Yesterday, for the second time, my excitement grew as I neared the Canyon rim at the end of the hike.  There was no desire for the hike to be over; no worry that I'd never get there.  The weariness of the hike mattered little as I finished the task.  

Nothing else on earth compares to this; it is addicting, this soul-drenching excursion to a land that calls me, soothes me and embraces me.

I hate exercise.  I assure you, this is not exercise.  It's exploration.

I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up (although I did plot out some business plans while skimming along a butte.). I do know, however, I must include the Canyon in them.  I'd head back today if I could.

Grandview Trail, Grand Canyon #49

Seven weeks ago I couldn't climb the stairs without becoming winded.

These stairs were not a problem.

Dotty and I planned to leave at 7am, but she forgot she was working until midnight last night.  So her husband Darrin & I agreed she should sleep, and we ended up leaving at 8am.  On a whim, Darrin decided to join us.

I actually met and became friends with Darrin first, back in September 2013.  I met Dotty this past Christmas; we love telling people we met because I was friends with her husband.  

Aren't they cute?

We hit the Grandview trailhead at 10:30am, a little late for a start but HEY, it was only three miles there and back, right??! 

Except the trail looked like this...

Or this (yes, this is the freakin' TRAIL.)

So instead of a quick hike down, we had a very arduous three mile hike.  To a freakin' half a house.

We just did what for this?

As we ate lunch, a few hikers coming back up the trail let us know the view was another 30 minutes up the trail.  Upon hearing that, I threw my boots back on, and dashed off as quickly as I could.  My phone said it was three, add an hour on for this plus the hike?  We'd be done at 7pm and dark!!!  We had to hammer this out quick!

The view

Darrin photo bombing me.

One cannot, in pictures or words, adequate convey the beauty of the inner canyon.  Cliffs and buttes of spring green; a quiet unlike any other on earth.  Addicting like a drug; I need to be there.  There is a peace that blankets the heart and soul; truly the canyon is like no other.

The hike up would be tough-you saw the trail-but I had a sneaky suspicion we might make better time in the trip up. We went very slow, trying to secure footing on the way down.  On the way up, the 1000ft drop off wasn't as big of a deal, and it was a matter of putting on foot in front of the other.

No air monster.

No Maverick.

No Mephistopheles.

Just joy.

Physically, the hike out is hard.  Psychologically, it was exhilarating.

After seven hours of hard hiking, I'm still smiling!

I leave stuff in the canyon.  I carry in my baggage, and leave it behind.  God and I still had some good one to one time, but in general my thoughts replay the past few weeks and plans for the coming months.

There were several, "Oh, S***" moments with the drop offs. The mesa trail was scary!!

We finished up 7 1/2 hrs after we started, emerging on the rim at 6pm.

The Three Muskateers.

We headed over to the Bright Angel Lodge for dinner, and left the canyon at 8pm.

A better day I cannot imagine.

Eight and a half weeks ago, I could not hike Thumb Butte without stopping, and gasping for air.  Six weeks ago I couldn't do it.

I just did my second Grand Canyon hike, with no issues, in the past two weeks,

Maybe there's something to being fit after all?

39: #261 & Mephistopheles

#261

There was true anticipation of a good hike, the nervousness about the elevation change and true fear of the air monster.

It doesn't look steep here at all!!!

The air monster.

Ugh.

Yesterday hurt-for a long time.  Dr. Keith, my PT friend, told me this morning that side stitches are a curious thing.  Likely, it's a cramp of the internal oblique (as opposed to external oblique that I pulled in my second week of exercise.) I find it interesting that every pull, strain and pop has occurred on the right side-which I know is weaker since the concussion on the left side of my head.

Fear.  Not my excuse monster, Maverick. Not my cheating conspirator Ferris.  True fear-Mephistopheles.

It's not discomfort-it's pain when my throat tightens.  It's fear-I can't catch my breath.  I thought the air monster was defeated when I hiked the Grand Canyon last week-apparently not.  

Granite #261 is not a stranger to me.  I did it three years ago with my husband and then 11year old son.  Since then, the mountain burned. I'd looked forward to the hike; much of it was through the burn, and nature renewing itself after a fire is remarkable.

The edge of the burn.

This morning was BNI, and my nutrition coach Jim thoughtfully tapped my undrunk glass of water as I poured my third cup of coffee.  The Professor sat next to me, and we laughed at my unsuccessful attempts to lift at home.  I lingered too long after the meeting, putting off the hike just a bit longer.  Yesterday had thrown me off.

Dotty and the boys met me at the trailhead, and we debated if we added the dogs to the log "book" before entering the National Wilderness.

We decided yes.

The hike was completely different than three years before-the fire had changed the landscape.

Sarge loves me❤️

90% is crispy; you can barely see Thumb Butte if you know where to look.

The flowers, however!!

Color everywhere🌺

The hike was actually an average hike.  I did stop for water a half dozen times, but I never got winded.  While the rocky trail and my borrowed set of poles made it more tricky to navigate, it wasn't a difficult hike.

I was pleasantly surprised.

The top-I watched the fire crest over this point two years ago from my home.

She brought me Pirate's Booty for lunch!

I can see my house!

The hike down was quick-it was cold-and I loved the security and ease the poles brought to my hips and knees .

Dotty is determined to get a century plant for herself.

This hike I feared-when it turns out there was nothing to fear.  I easily handled it, and it was well within my fitness level.

There's a popular saying out there:

Which would mean you have to get beyond fear, to get to the other side.

Well, fear didn't leave my side today.  It was very present all the way up the mountain.  I wanted to do this hike, I wanted the views.  I got what I wanted IN SPITE of fear.

I do love, love, love to fly.

35: Dreams of Ghosts & Missing Rings

My dreams were many last night; my sore shoulder resulted in a fitful night.

Amazing the muscle under this skin can cause so many issues.

You'll note the sunburn; it was partly cloudy when we left on our hike.

Constellation Trail.

After yesterday's dismal blog, you'll be happy to note the return of photos, the fact that not only am I hiking, but the King of Athletics joined me.

 No rocks were harmed by me throwing them while on this hike.

It was the King's first time on these trails, which are the foundational trails for The Hiking Viking.  It was good for me to check my fitness level on them, and I was happy to be able to chat during the majority of the hike, and to wear my minimus shoes.

At the Canyon, I ditched my boots while at Plateau Point.

The big disappointment, however, was this:

Check out my calves.  Ignore the saggy denim shorts.

Like, seriously??

I have GOT to learn how to pose better (and get new shorts.). Freaking embarrassing.

Check out those calves, though:)

So the King decides to show off, and descends down a fifty foot ledge Becky & I had earlier deemed impossible.

It doesn't look hard here, unfortunately.

We finished up in record time; I suggested another set of trails nearby.  The King suggested lunch, and I reluctantly agreed.  Food simply isn't as exciting as another trail!

The wisteria behind the restaurant was gorgeous however.

Lunch was good, but I lost my appetite when Louisville lost their bid for the Final Four.

Not that I care about Louisville in the slightest.  Ugh.  BTW-choose a freaking color to be.  Either be white or be green.  This "Go White! Go Green!" sounds like an environmentalist arguing with an angel.

Unexpectedly, my workout business for the week needed to reschedule.  This leaves me trying to figure out what to do-another week at CrossFit?  Mountain biking?  Swimming?

On things for certain-I'm jot giving up on these new found guns for nothing.